


At the End of the Day

by blublublah



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kindergarten & Pre-school, Angst, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Freddie is ready to fight the world, Homophobia, M/M, Maylor - Freeform, Parenthood, Single Parents, Slow Burn, brian is a soft dad, in gerenal, jim is supportive, john and veronica are actual angels, roger is completely overwhelmed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2019-10-19 15:05:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blublublah/pseuds/blublublah
Summary: Maylor Single Parent!AURogers life gets turned upside down when he wakes one morning and finds a toddler on his doorstep, who turns out to be Rogers son.So now Roger has to face raising a 3-year-old without any experience or knowledge on children while somehow managing his two jobs and private life at once.The fact that his sons’ teacher also is the most beautiful person Roger has ever met doesn’t really help his situation very much.~Ben is Rogers son, Brian is a teacher at the local Kindergarten, Fred loves some good provocation and John just wants his kids to be happy.Titel taken from: Somebody to Love





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What, whats that? I should upload the new Chapter of 'Behind the Curtain' before I post new shit??  
> Sorry, I can't hear you over my terrible life choices...
> 
> I normally don't write fluff or happy things but who cares, let's see how this goes.  
> Also I have no idea how kids work so some parts may be a bit unrealistic but again who cares ;)  
> This work won't be as detailed as my others, it is only for fun and for me to get used to writing happy things!
> 
> Now comes the Prolouge, the first*real* chapter should be up tomorrow,
> 
> Please Enjoy :)

Rogers' life philosophy was pretty simple.

Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Basically, live life to the fullest and don’t spend too much time thinking about what could have been and what the future would bring.

And everyday Roger tried to life by that sentiment. Sometimes he would succeed, sometimes he would fail, but he would always try at least.

So, once the weekend hits, he was out in the night. Flickering lights dancing across the wet pavement, cigarette smoke filling the air, music blearing over the streets, laughter sounding from every corner;

Pubs, nightclubs, sometimes a festival, it didn’t matter, Roger only cared about being always out and about; He didn’t spent his money as reckless as one would think but he also didn’t ponder too long on questions like “did I have enough?” or “should I maybe not go out the 4th night in a row” because asking himself question like that made him feel old. And he didn’t like feeling old.

Roger was only 26 years old, he had finished his bachelor and while his mother expected him to do something with his diploma, the young man had different ideas. Instead of following his mothers’ wish, wearing a while lab coat and matching white clogs for the rest of his life, Roger decided to do something more fun.

So, he applied for a job as a musical instructor at a local voluntary organization, that was founded to help the youth in this neighborhood find some sort of outlet for their stress and frustration and of course, to make new friends and learn the way of others.

Roger fell in love with the idea, and even though he had no musical training what so ever, he was a good enough guitar player and an excellent drummer, having played ever since he was a little child.

He knew of the importance to show children that if they just worked hard enough on something, the result would pay off. It was for a good cause so the money was pretty low, but that didn’t really matter for Roger.

His work was helping others, maybe not in the way had mother had hoped for, but Roger was still convinced, she was proud of her sons’ contribution to the world.

Roger also worked in a little vintage shop, selling all kind of stuff but mostly clothing, that he or his co-worker Dominique, a very feisty lady from Portugal, gathered from various flea markets all over the city.

Roger felt at home in their small store, shawls and all kind of fabrics hanging all over the place, the floor littered with shoe cartons and worn down taborets, the room overflowing with clothes, painting and mirrors, even a few cupboards and one bloody heavy closet that Dom had brought back from her last visit at her parents’ place.

Just like his occupation as instructor, the shop also didn’t bring in a lot of money but altogether it was enough to keep Roger comfortable. And that was all that mattered to him.

He had always been very easy going, not wasting time where nothing was to gain. 

Some called him selfish, some called him ignorant but really, he just was trying to live his life without any regrets. 

Roger was still young and he still had his whole life before him, what was the point in getting lost in fears of the future, in the demons of his past, in the stillness of the now? 

He wasn’t a disdainful asshole that dismissed the happiness others sought, he simply set his priorities a bit differently.

That was why Roger was currently out at some club, beer in one hand, the other one lying easily on some girl’s waist, leaning in closely, whispering naughty promises in her ear;

She giggled drunkenly, her hair tickling his cheeks, her hands tugging on his shirt, ruffling it, exposing his chest even more. Then she on him, hands wandering over his bare skin up to his neck, fingers crawling, digging softly into his back. They swayed slightly to the music, the bass loud, the lights fluttering above them.

He captured her lips, sour from the drink she had, lips chapped and plumb moving lazily against his own. Her sweet fragrance filling his nose, reminding him of cherry’s and elderberries; 

His own hands slowly slipping down, curving her ass, giving it a playful squeeze owning him a surprised moan. Teeth biting his lips hungrily before he was pushed back, pulled from the dancefloor, hands dragging him to the toilet, into a small stall, her scent never leaving his mind.

Maybe he was born for this life style. His looks certainly helped with getting attention wherever he went, deep blue eyes sparkling, pink lips glistering, blond hair falling flawlessly, and his natural charm wrapping every girl around his finger within a few slick words. 

It was easy.

A quick blowjob at an unnamed bar, a messy fuck at his friends’ house during a house party, a night of love making at some birds flat.

It didn’t matter who they were, just pretty faces; only the feeling of skin on skin, low moans and whimpers were saved in his memories for lonelier nights.

When he had been younger, Roger had questioned his own actions. Was it healthy to be out almost every night, drinking and smoking until the sun came up? No. Was it smart to life to the fullest without thinking of the consequences? Hell No. Was it necessary to get someone new every time he went out? Hm, maybe. Was it exhilarating and revitalizing? Absolutely. 

Much to his mothers’ dismay, Roger didn’t do emotions or relationships or love, for that matter. No somehow, he managed to never get attached to the girls he took home; to stay clear of any guiltiness or remorse. And it wasn’t like he hurt them while doing so.

He made sure, they knew his intentions. As said before, he wasn’t a heartless asshole. Often girls just wanted to lose themselves and he was all here for that. Spend a few hours together, getting out all the frustration and tension being alive brought, before parting ways again, never thinking of each again.

It was simple. It was easy. What more was there to ask for?

On lonelier nights, when money was short and his friends were busy with their girlfriends and jobs and everything Roger didn’t really have, the blond felt a bit aimless, missing some kind of purpose in his life. 

Those were the moments, where he longed for something he didn’t know yet. His heart aching for more, something to he was not for the love god able to name.

So he stopped thinking about these things altogether, trying to live his life without thinking about tomorrow.

 

*

In hindsight, Roger should have known, it was going to bite him in the ass at some point. 

He had just hoped it would be in the far future. When he would be too old to care and too rich to be affected.

But fate didn’t like to play this way. Instead it tried to be uncomically funny and cruel, distressing and comforting at the same time. Fate was not to be played with, it was a sheer force waltzing its way through your life without regard to any losses.

It was unpredictable, today proving it again.

Roger was stretched out on his bed, sheets tangled around his naked limps, silk covering him, only a mob of blond hair peeked out under the blanket. 

The room was casted in the orange glow of the rising sun, dust sparking in the morning sun rays, crumpled clothes littering the floor.

The man slept peacefully, obvious to the world, his body relaxed after a long night of drinking and getting it on with the girl, who surprisingly hadn’t come home with him, meaning he had spent the night alone.

Now on any other day nothing could have disturbed this enchanting scene. 

Today was different though, fate making an entrance like never seen before.

It began with hurried stomping, the old worn steps in the stairwell creaking pitiful as someone run up in quick steps. A loud thud following, some hushed voices, and then loud, loud banging.

Fists harshly banging onto Rogers entrance, ruthless and fierce, demanding and without apparently without giving any second thought to the other residents peace, the fist continued to hit the wood in an impeccable pace.

When Roger first came to, he thought the banging was simply his throbbing head. He had experienced enough headaches starting the same way, but soon he came to realize, it was in fact not his brain, but an actual banging somewhere close to him.

After giving his sleepy mind another moment, the blond lifted his head, trying to locate the unforgiving noise. Ah, someone seemed to be ‘knocking’ on his door.

What the fuck?

Still dizzy, he almost fell off his bed, feet still tangled in his sheet, trapping him, he shook them, freeing himself before quickly slipping in some cloths cursing under his breath.

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to wake him this early on a bloody Sunday?

His vision blurry, he quickly grabbed his spare pair glasses, before hurrying down the hall to see what kind of maniac was trying to pound a hole through his door.

What was wrong with people nowadays?

Almost tripping over his own shoes, which he had left rather thoughtlessly in the middle of the hall, Roger caught himself before gripping the doorknob, the banging at least stopped, throwing the door open.

Nothing.

Roger saw nothing. Well, he did see the familiar staircase, old brown steps, black where the pressure had turned the brown into black over time as people rushed up and down, chipped white falls, stained with water and other things Roger didn’t want to think about and the door of his neighbor, decorated with a flower braid and a nametag but other than that, the floor seemed empty.

Roger cursed and wiped his hand over his slightly stubby face, god it was too early for this kind of shit.

He let his gaze wander down the stairs, as if someone would hide there; hide from him, almost expecting Dom waiting to jump out and scream or some stupid teenagers giggling stupidly at their even more stupid prank, Roger just saw a small figure on the ground out of the corner of his eye.

He turned his head so fast, his neck snapping painfully, still sore from sleeping; eyes going completely wide at the sight of a small boy sitting directly in front of him.

Well, it couldn’t have been him banging on Rogers door, right? Roger thanked his brain for its helpful contribution, rolling his eyes at himself, before focusing back on the small heap at his feet.

The sight had shocked any left traces of sleep or drowsiness away, his brain fully awake now, mouth slightly agape, hands holding the doorframe to steady himself.

There really sat a fucking toddler on his doorstep.

Blue wide eyes staring at the child, who in return looked back at him, green soft eyes just as confused but somewhat with a hint of more curiosity than Rogers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is only something to set the background of the story.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and please as always I'd love to know what you think of my work :)  
>  You can also find me here on tumblr
> 
> xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, THANK YOU!!! For every comment, kudo or whatever!  
> I love you all and I hope you all enjoy this story as much as I love writing it!
> 
> This is the first 'real' chapter!  
> Again unbetaed and I have no idea about children so idk about Bens behavior ;)
> 
> Please Enjoy!

Roger stared down at the child at his feet.

The boy, maybe a few years old, was sitting on his doormat, wrapped in a navy-blue parker with green stripes on it, blond curls peeking out slightly under a brown knit hat with a stitched-on teddy bear face, stared back up at him.

For a few minutes they just looked at each other, observing, calculating in complete silence.

Big green eyes, bright with curiosity peered up into equally interested blue ones.

Then Roger broke the eye contact, letting his gaze shift past the boy, looking through the staircase, which was actually still swaying slightly as if somebody had just rushed up or down the stairs; his eyes searching for anybody who could have forgotten their child on his porch. 

But the floor was empty, as were the stairs; he listened for any sound upstairs or downstairs, signaling someone was hiding or had been here a few moments earlier.

Nothing.

“What the fu-“, Roger bit his lip, somewhere is mind still was able to remember not to curse in front of children. He spent enough time around rebellious teenager to know they loved hearing adults curse.

Anyways, not important right now.

Had someone really left their fucking child in front of his door on purpose? Maybe whoever had sat the boy down was still at the complex entrance, just remembering that they hadn’t come alone and were now wondering where they left their child.

Roger stepped past the boy, already getting down a few steps before looking back up to the boy, who was still watching him silently but h seemed rather distressed at the aspect of Roger leaving, standing up, almost tripping over his own feet.

Okay, he couldn’t leave the child here, the danger of it tumbling down the stairs was way too high.

So, Roger went back upstairs, crouching down in front of the boy, letting his gaze drift over him one more time. The boy seemed cautious of the sudden closeness, tiny brain probably trying to calculate the strange man, backing off a bit.

Now that he looked closer, Roger realized in what condition the clothes the boy wore, were. His parker was ripped, stains all over his pants, the hat a bit oversized for the small head, hanging almost over the big eyes, that still watched him carefully. 

There was also a medium size duffel bag sitting next to the boy.

Rogers’ stomach dropped at the thought what could be in there.

There was no way, what he was thinking was really happening, right?

Green eyes followed his movements closely as he cautiously lifted his arm, not wanting to scare the child, and placed it gently on the boys arm.

“Hey, how did you end up here?” His voice was tight and sounded way too forced to be genuine happy, but he hoped it fooled the boy. 

The brows on the child face furrowed, adverting his eyes, looking down at his feet; 

The small mouth opened once, closed again, opened but no sound came. The boy shook his head slightly.

If Roger didn’t know better, he would think the boy looked ashamed. But that couldn’t be right, could it? The child wasn’t older than a few years old, were kids this young even capable of feeling shame? Roger had no clue so he just tried it again.

“Come on, where’s your mommy or your daddy? Did they leave you here?” Again, he tried to sound gently and not too pressing but he wasn’t sure he succeeded guessing from how the boy seemed to curl up in on himself.

The fishlike gaping didn’t reoccur, the boy obviously not entirely content with the situation. 

“Shh, hey, it’s okay, just tell me and we can find them, yeah?” This felt hopeless and Roger was sure he was looking like a straight fool, trying to coax this boy to tell him anything.

After a few more tries and the somber realization, that this would lead nowhere, Roger stood back up. He should call the police. They would take the child and find its legal guardian and Roger could go back to his life, forgetting this strange encounter as soon as possible.

As he turned around to walk back into his flat, he almost missed the small whimper behind him.

Roger stilled. Had he just imagined that sound or was the boy, he turned back around.

He didn’t need to finish his thought as a small sob sounded from the boy, his gazing dropping to see the childs face scrunched up, lips quivering, green eyes filling with big fat tears before the boy cried out loudly, wailing piercing the broken silence, distressed sobs mixing with desperate calls for his mother.

Rogers’ heart ached at the sight.

Not one second later he was back kneeling in front of the troubled child, hands hesitant to touch the poor thing, his head filled with a thousand thoughts of what to do, Roger stared at the boy before throwing all principles out of the window and picking the child up, gathering the tiny body in his arms. 

“Hey, shh, hush. Please don’t cry.” Roger was pretty sure his attempts at calming the child were as effective as throwing a glass of water onto a burning house, but forgive his very panicked mind for not coming up with anything better.

The boy didn’t relax one bit, the cries just getting louder and more hysterical and soon Roger feared for the boys’ ability to breathe properly. Tiny arms throwing out surprisingly strong blows, feet kicking at everything that came close enough, the boy put up quite the fight.

Roger felt like a kidnapper and he was sure this had to be one of his least favorite Sundays already.

“You gotta stop that! Hey, shhh, please stop crying. And stop hitting me!” Voice softer now, gentler and less panicked, he hugged the boy a bit tighter only now realizing how cold the little thing felt. At the soothing hushes, the boy seemed to calm down a bit, blows and kicks lessening, tiny arms snaking up Rogers neck, legs wrapping themselves around Rogers hips, wailing turning into a pitiful sounding sobbing noise.

To avoid alarming all the other residents and to also warm this child up a bit more, Roger quickly grabbed the bag and went back inside his flat.

If someone had really forgotten about their child then they surely would have heard that outburst just now and would have come looking. 

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Roger headed for his living room, sitting the distressed boy down on his couch, grabbing a blanket from the other end and wrapping it around the shivering, tiny body. 

Once Roger was satisfied with his work, he took a step backwards. Only now realizing the wet spot on his own shoulder, cringing at the thought of having spit, tears and snot of a child on him. 

But as he looked back to the boy, now all tugged in, surrounded by pillows and finally looking somewhat content, already seeming to have forgotten about his late outburst, Roger couldn’t help but smile. Cheeks slightly blushed and still wet with tears, eyes red rimmed and a bit fazed, hair looking a bit tousled as the hat had slipped off, the boy looked adorable as he looked around the flat curiously. 

Roger stood there just watching the child, hoping it would not break into tears again. But the boy just continued to gaze at Rogers little TV, eyes wandering over the few pictures Roger had hung up until the boy looked back to the man, a soft smile on the pink lips.

Roger smiled back, teeth showing, eyes sparkling.

“Mommy’s gone now.”

And with that, the smile fell off as quick as it came.

What was that supposed to mean? 

Roger stepped back to the child, crouching before it, hands resting in his lap, eyes trained on the small face before him, he asked again, “Where is your mommy?”

“Gone.”

Very helpful, Roger had to admit. The boy obvious didn’t seem to grasp of that statement.

Roger stood back up. Was this some kind of cruel joke? Who just left their child on a strangers’ door? Weren’t there actual shelters where you could leave unwanted children? Also, this wasn’t a baby or something, this boy was already so big. And why his door? He lived on the 3rd floor, why would you walk up that far? And what was he going to do now? Call the police? Call his mother? Call child protection service? Were they even open on a Sunday? What if someone thought, he kidnapped that boy? 

Roger felt himself panic again, as his mind went into overdrive to find some kind of solution to this mess. 

The blond almost didn’t hear the tiny noise coming from the couch, walking up and down in front of it, hands running through his messy hair. What was he going to do? God, how was he going to fix this? He needed to do something! He should-

“Daddy”

That word got his attention.  
His head wiped around. No, he hadn’t heard right, had he? No, please, no there was no way in hell that boy had just muttered the word-

“Need the toilet, daddy, please” The boy said that word again, looking questioningly at Roger, hands clasp together, head slightly tilted. Completely obvious to the emotions running through Roger at the moment.

Roger just continued to stare at the boy.

“What did you just say?” His voice quivering, weak sounding strangely faded even to his own ears.

“Toilet” the boy repeated yet again.

Rogers eyes flickered down at the hands of the boy, only now noticing the small letter in between the tiny fingers. Where did that come from?

Ignoring the boys request for the moment, ignoring the uttered word, ignoring everything for a second, Roger took the envelop out of the boys’ grip, opening it almost in trance, eyes quickly scanning over it.

_Dear Roger,_  
  
_I cannot believe I am actually doing this, that I am actually writing you this letter._  
_A thousand times I had dreamt about doing this…_  
_I have no idea if you will even remember me. We met at Catharine’s Birthday party a few years ago._  
_It was just one night and you left pretty early in the morning, so you can imagine how hard it had been to track you down._  
  
_The boy, Benjamin, you are his father._  
  
_Surprise! I guess…_  
  
_I’m so sorry for unloading all of this with just a letter but I had to go._  
_I could not have looked you in the eyes as I left behind my own child in your arms_.  
_Ben is three years old now. I have put all his important papers in the bag, he likes fruits and music,_  
_he probably got that from you, he doesn’t like dark or being left alone._  
_I know I can never ever make up for what I’ve done but believe me Roger, I tried to take care of him._  
_I tried so hard but it’s just not me and I couldn’t give him away to some stranger. I could never forgive myself if my son grew up hurting._  
_I know I’m making the right choice by leaving him with you._  
_You will be there for him and you will stay by his side, not like me, not running away like his own mother…_  
  
_Anyways, Roger, please take care of my boy, please take care of our boy!_  
  
_Love, Susie_

His fingers gripped the paper hard, hands shaking, eyes reading over the words again and again. After the 15. times Roger took a deep breath, he still wasn’t sure he had grasped the content or even the words spelt out in front of him.

He looked up from the letter, his gaze meeting the boys, Bens, who looked at him with an upset expression.

Oh god, please don’t cry again. 

This boys’ mood changed quicker than his own. He truly must be his son, no wait, that couldn’t be…

He looked back at the letter, reading it once more,

…you are his father…

And the boy had called him ‘Daddy’. Was this really his…

Again, he looked back up before reading the letter again. This continued for a few more minutes until Roger finally put the paper back into the envelop, letting out a shaky breath, stepping back to the child.

Ben, the child’s name was Ben.

“So, you are Ben?” The boy nodded, recognizing his own name.

“And I’m your dad?” Ben nodded again, eyes still shy but a bit friendlier than before.

“And your mommy left you here?” This time he didn’t get an answer.

How did the boy even know he was his father? His mother could have told him anything. There was no proof and he didn’t even remember this girl.

But he also didn’t remember a lot of girls so there was actually a pretty good chance of this happening. And the boy did kind of look like him. At least the hair and nose remined him of himself. 

Roger grabbed the duffel bag, opened the zipper and went through the mentioned documents. Birth Certificate, Passport, maternal health passport, some doctors’ records, a few photos even and a registration paper for a kindergarten near Rogers flat. 

Other than that, the bag was filled with a few spare clothes, a blanket with ducks on it, some hygiene stuff, a thick kid book and kind of plush that slightly resembled a raccoon or whatever.

And that’s it. That’s apparently everything this child owned. Well, he was only 3 after all…

Roger decided for now he would just trust the mysterious girl and accept that he was indeed the father of this boy sitting on his couch. There wasn’t much he could do about it right now anyways.

Maybe it was the shock or confusion, the sudden revelation, his still kind of drunken mind from the night before or just about anything that made him accept the news rather calmly but Roger tried to stay true to his mindset.

Don’t think too hard about what was and what will be. You now have a child and that’s it.

A high-pitched giggle forced itself out of his throat. Fuck, he was so screwed.

Okay, come on, you can do this, Roger tried to reassure himself. He could handle this for now, just get through the day and tomorrow he can try to track down the woman, Bens mother.

“Daddy” the low whine brought his attention back to the boy still squirming uncomfortably in the cushions. “I’m wet” the soft voice sounded equally ashamed and annoyed.

“What do you mean you’re wet? You are not-“, oh god, the boy had asked for the toilet earlier, hadn’t he? Roger facepalmed, feeling like a complete idiot. Of course, the boy had asked to go to the toilet, he had ignored him and now Ben had peed himself.

To confirm his guess, Roger extended his hand to help Ben out of the blanket and off the couch, examining the indeed dark spot on his furniture. Well, this was one Roger, no reason to blame the child.

“Okay, let’s get you cleaned. Next time just interrupt me, yes?” Holding Bens hand Roger lead them to his bathroom, grabbing the bag for cleans clothes.

Ben nodded but was more engrossed in taking in the new surroundings than really listen to Roger. 

Once the two of them were settled, Ben in the bathtub while Roger kneed before the porcelain, quick hands helping the boy out of his clothes. Just a quick shower and the boy would be clean and warm again, then they could go out to grab some food before Roger felt ready to tell anyone his dilemma. 

As it turned out, Ben like playing in the water quite a lot, spraying water everywhere, flinging himself around the slippery ground, giving Roger about 20 heart attacks when the boy came dangerously close to smacking his head on the hard surface. 

By the time they were finished and Ben was now dressed in some more decent looking clothes, Roger was dripping wet but he didn’t mind at all, a big grin on his face as he chased the boy out of the bath to get himself ready.

Of course, he was smart enough to leave the door open, to keep an eye on the now exploring boy. Apparently, the boy didn’t mind the new environment at all, excitedly wandering around the flat, checking each room out before grabbing that strange plush thing and a book, sitting down on living room floor, pretending to read the book to his fluffy friend.

Roger almost cooed at the sight, tying his hair up in a lazy bun and buttoning up his shirt, exiting the bathroom, wet towel in hand, joining Ben.

Eyeing the boy as he animated gestured out the story of the book to his plush friend, Roger went and placed the towel on the dark spot, hoping it would be enough until he had time to buy some cleaning products. 

“The car goes vroooom” Ben waved his arms wildly, trying to empathize the speed of the car that was printed on the open page. Suddenly the boy stopped, standing up abruptly, walking over to one of Rogers shelfs. 

Roger followed the boys’ movement, smiling as Ben stood on his tiptoes to look over the framed pictures standing on the shelf next to his TV. 

“You like cars? Here, look that was my first one, my Dad bought it for my graduation.” Smiling fondly at the memory, Roger took the picture said car, placing it in the tiny hands that already waited.

“I like blue cars!” Ben exclaimed happily, taking the picture back to his plush, showing it the car. 

Roger figured he could leave the boy alone for a minute, pleasantly surprised that this boy seemed to be quite the happy-go-lucky type of child, even if their start had been a bit bumpy. 

After getting his jacket, money and his keys, the man went back to the child, placing said objects on the other side of the couch, sitting down besides Ben.

“Let’s start over. I’m Roger”, he extended his hand, holding it out for the boy to shake it. Ben just looked at him with big eyes. 

“Daddy!” 

“Fine, that works too, I guess.” Taking the tiny hand in his own, he shook it lightly, “nice to meet you Ben!” The boy giggled, now shaking their joined hands rapidly, completely obvious to the concept of a ‘handshake’.

“You hungry? I know I am, so what do you wanna eat?” Helping the boy up and ushering him out onto the hall, dressing them both for the chilly weather outside, Roger went through their options in his head.

“Hm, how about some fish and chips, huh? Simple yet filling, you like that?” Roger wasn’t really in the mood but he also didn’t know what Ben liked and what kid didn’t like chips?

Ben nodded absently as he pulled his hat on, tugging the straps down, almost covering his eyes. “Can I have a banana?”, the boy asked as he pointed to a drawing of a fruit bowl hanging next to the door.

Roger didn’t even know he had such a painting, but agreed of course. They would go to a little café a few blocks down the road, they served some nice little granola bowls and would probably also cater fruits and stuff. 

Once they were out of the apartment complex, making their way down to the food shop, Roger holding Bens tiny hand, Roger was hit with a wave of fear. 

Ben didn’t seem to notice the tight grip around his fingers, asking all kinds of questions, not even waiting for an answer sometimes, as Roger let his eyes wander over the people they passed. 

Was Bens’ mother still around? Maybe lingering to see if Roger would call the police? Was anyone watching them? Realizing how tense Roger looked? Was anyone suspicious of the lone bachelor suddenly tugging a small child behind him? What if one of his neighbors heard the crying this morning and now put two and two together, assuming Roger really did kidnap this child?

He didn’t really listen to the boys’ frequent questions, answering them absently as he looked around, to see if anyone was giving him any odd looks. 

“Not so fast!” Ben whined, stopping, tugging Roger back. 

“What are you doing?” Ignoring the annoyed murmurs of the people around them, that had nearly run into the pair blocking the pavement, Roger looked at Ben expectantly. “What’s wrong?”

“You are too fast!” To emphasize his statement, Ben stomp his little feet once, swinging their joined hands. 

Roger really had to learn to listen to Ben if he wanted this to work. 

“Yeah, sorry, got lost in thoughts. We will go a bit slower now, yes?”

Ben nodded again, apparently the only way to respond to Roger, before they resumed their little walk. No one seemed to cast them a second look, everyone too caught up in their own business, Roger slowly relaxing again.

Now able to focus on the question thrown at him, Roger did his best to answer most of them, even if he had no clue about half the things Ben asked him. 

When they finally had reached the café was fairly empty, the waitress quickly showing them a table before taking their orders.

Roger just had tea with scones while ordering a fruit salad and a water for Ben. The boy happily shoved the sweet fruits into his mouth, Roger watching him with an amused gaze. 

It had only been a few hours since Ben had ended up in Rogers care but the blond man already was quite fond of the boy, his heart warming at the sight of the tiny version of himself. The unfamiliar feeling only spread further as Ben looked up, green eyes sparkling, sending him a toothy smile.

Maybe this whole thing wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Maybe he really was Bens father and maybe they could really make this work, Roger thought as he stole some a strawberry, laughing at Bens angry pout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Roger slowly comes to term with having a child around but they still have a looooong way to go....  
> Luckily help will soon reveal itself ;)
> 
> Let me know what you thought here or as always on my [Tumblr](http://mrdisrespecthood.tumblr.com/)  
> Also the next chapter won't be up until a few days...I really have to finish the one of Behind the Curtain first......  
> Until next time  
> xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and a big thank you for the great response!! Thanks for every kudo, comment and etc.  
> I love you all and hope you enjoy this new chapter as much as I loved writing it!  
> This story really is so much fun and I promise to work harder on it!  
> Please don't be mad at Rogers Mum, I think we all would have reacted a bit shocked upon hearing such news ;)
> 
> ALSO I got some art done that you can find on my [tumblr](http://mrdisrespecthood.tumblr.com/) :)

The rest of the day went by slow.

After breakfast Roger decided to take Ben to a park close to his flat so that the little one could let out some energy and get some fresh air.

He may not know a lot about children but he knew they needed action 25/8 so that they would fall asleep at night.

And it wasn’t like Roger didn’t enjoy the walk out in the green. He rarely went out here, normally staying inside and curing his hangover with junk food and bad sitcoms. But now he actually got some sun on him and it was endearing watching Ben run around him, his plushie at his side at any time and hearing the carefree giggling. 

They left the park at dusk, it already started to get a bit more chill and Roger didn’t want to risk Ben getting sick. 

Also, he still had to call his mother, finally feeling ready for the lecture of a lifetime he surely would be getting once his mother learned of the latest developments coming out of Roger’s love life.

As soon as they were back inside the little flat, Ben raced off to the living room, probably to pick up the book where he had left it earlier the day. Roger followed him, cleaning the couch before going to the kitchen to fix up some dinner, cursing at himself when he realized he only had some baked beans and toast in his cupboards.

After setting some water on the stove he fished his phone out of his jacket, dialing his mothers’ number. 

After a few seconds a familiar voice picked up the call, Roger sighing in annoyance.

“Hey Assface, what’s poppin?” The telltale voice of his little sister sounded through the phone.

“Clare. Why are you on Mums phone? I need to speak to her.” Roger didn’t have time for his sisters’ antics right now. He finally worked up the courage to call in and now this dumbass had to answer the phone. Fuck this day honestly.

“Wow, missed you too…I picked it up because it wouldn’t stopped ringing and when I saw it was you, I just couldn’t let it go to voicemail. It’s been quite some time since we saw each other, no way I can pass an opportunity to talk to my big bro!” Clares voice was dripping with sarcasm and Roger had to fight the urge to just hang up then and there.

“Well then, how have you been? How is school going?” He asked, knowing Clare hated talking about her studies; it was one of the few similarities of the Taylor siblings.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. But I’ve been good. Mom is at some neighbor’s birthday party. I think it was Mrs. Johnsons, you know the grumpy bitch that always yelled at us when we played outside.”

Ah yes, Roger could still recall the many times the grey-haired witch had treated to call the police on them, how was she even still alive? Maybe she really was a witch…

“Shush, don’t swear, Mum is gonna blame it on me if she hears you talk like that.” 

“Oh please, don’t flatter yourself Blondie. Anyways what did you need from Mum? I can tell her you called then she can get back to you once she returns.”

For one second Roger actually thought about telling Clare about Ben before his common sense returned to him and he quickly declined the offer, instead thanking her and asking her to tell their mother to call him back.

After that mediocre successful conversation, he finished up the tea and set the table for dinner. 

Once everything was ready, Roger went to the living room, stopping in the doorway his eyes softening at the sight of Ben sitting snuggled up in one of Rogers blankets on the floor, plushie pressed to his side as he snored slightly, book still laying in his lap. 

The boy looked absolutely adorable and Roger contemplated not waking the boy from his slumber. But that would only end in Ben being to awake to go to bed later and he would have to deal with an animated toddler right before bedtime which was not something, he was interested in experiencing. 

Roger silently stepped into the room, crouching before Ben, one hand coming up to gently brush some strands of sandy blond hair out of the young face. 

“Ben, buddy, hey you wanna join me for dinner?” Keeping his voice down he softly patted the rosy cheeks to wake the boy up.

Green eyes opened lazily, blinking at him. 

“Mommy?” The young voice sounded so insecure and lost that Rogers heart actually ached.

“No bud, it’s just me,” he answered, voice still low and soft, not wanting to scare Ben if his sleep drunken mind maybe forgot where he was after waking up.

“Daddy!” Ben sounded more awake now, a happy smile on his cute lips, the boy leaped forward to hug the surprised man, toppling them both over.

“Oh wow, okay, now you’re definitely awake. Come on, let’s get some food into you, you hungry?” Roger picked them both up, taking Ben on his arms, laughing at the child as Ben playfully tried to bit at him.

“Yes!! Food, I’m hungry!” 

“Then let’s feed the little monster!” 

Back in the kitchen he let the boy down onto the chair before pouring them both some tea and putting some toast and beans on Bens plate.

Another giggle forced its way out of Roger when he saw the sour expression on Ben’s face as the small boy took a sip from his tea.

“You want some sugar with that?” He asked still laughing lightly.

Ben nodded vividly and pushed the cup away, focusing on the food instead. 

Roger quickly got some sugar cubes and gave them to Ben before also settling down in front of his own plate.

The rest of the dinner was mostly spent in silence. Ben focusing on getting every single part of his shirt covered in bean sauce and Roger thinking about how he was going to tell his mother about the new addition to his life.

Speaking about the devil, just as Roger finished the last bite his phone went off, and Ben looked up curiously. 

“Don’t worry, you can keep eating.” Roger absently mumbled as he stood up to take the call, walking out of the room, not wanting the boy to hear him talk about him.

“Roger, dear, Clare told me you called but wouldn’t tell her why. Is everything alright?” His mother sounded a bit worried and Roger sighed, he should have expected that.

“Yes Mum, I’m fine. I just had to tell you something. And I didn’t want Clare to know about it I guess.” He hated how unsure he sounded but he really had no clue how to break it to his own mother that he suddenly had a 3-year-old to care for. 

“Roger, you know you can tell me everything. Are you sure everything is fine? Did something happen to Dom or the shop? Do you need me to come down?“, now his mother was just rambling annoying questions into his ear and Roger felt even more annoyed than before.

“No, I mean yes, I’m sure everything’s fine! Dom is fine, why would I call you if something happened- okay, doesn’t matter now. I just need to tell you that…” Roger picked up the unidentified plushie and set it on his couch, walking over to the spot where Ben had his accident on earlier, now dry again.

“Mum, I really don’t know how to tell you this, but…” He was chewing on his lip again, one of the habits that he thought he had overcome after finishing school. 

“Mum, I have a son.” 

There, he said it. Quick and painless, like pulling of a band aid. Roger held his breath.

He was met with silence. He flexed his clammy fingers, an odd anxiety overtaking his body as he waited for any kind of response from his mother. 

Moments passed, seconds turning into minutes of strained uncertainty. Had his mother just hung up? No, he could still her faint breath coming through the phone. 

“Mum?” 

Another beat passed, just the two of them breathing and a faint clattering from Rogers kitchen where Ben was. 

“I- Roger, I don’t understand. What do you mean, you have a son? What?” She sounded confused, surprised, a bit shocked but she didn’t sound angry.

Roger relaxed, tension slowly easing out of him. 

“I mean, I have a son. His name’s Ben, he is 3 years old and he’s really cute. I can’t really explain how or when but I just needed to tell someone, needed to tell you.”

This only seemed to confuse his poor mother even more, “What do you mean, you don’t know how or when? How can you not know this? Why didn’t you tell us you had a girlfriend, or that she was pregnant for that matter? How old is the baby now? Roger, I’m really having a hard time right now.”

“I’m sorry, I now it’s a bit sudden-“

“Sudden? Roger, this is not like, you coming over unannounced or you needing someone to pick you up from the airport! Sudden, he says” His mother sounded a bit more troubled now, he could literally see her waving her hands and getting all up and about.

“That was the wrong word, sorry. I just, it’s hard to explain. Look, Ben was dropped here this morning. His mother only left a letter, not really explaining much, to be honest. I didn’t know he existed until I opened the door this morning.” Roger tried his best to stay calm and somewhat collected, not wanting to scare the boy who was only a few rooms down the hall.

“What do you mean, a woman dropped a child at your door? Roger, are you really being serious right now? I swear to god, if this is some kind of joke, I don’t find it funny at all.” Now she started to sound a bit livider and less confused.

“No, I’m not joking around. Like I said, I can’t explain it to you right now, but, I just- Mum I promise I’m gonna sort this all out and then explain to you everything in detail. Right now, I just need you to trust me, to believe me, okay?” He let out an exasperated sigh. He knew this was a bit much, okay, maybe more than a bit, but he just wanted to tell somebody. 

“Roger, listen to me, you’re my only son and I love you to the end of the world but if you really managed to knock a fine young lady up and then left, not helping her in any way and only taking responsibility now, after, how old was the boy again? After 3 years, lord help us, Roger please tell me you are not telling me this just happened. Please tell me, you’re a joking.”

Instead of answering, Roger just stood there, knowing he could only make it worse by confirming or denying it. He listened quietly for Ben, but there was still happy giggling coming from his kitchen.

“Mum, I swear, if I had known-“

“So, it’s true? You really did it this time. I can take you leaving home to go to college, I can take you completely dismissing all your classes and trying to figure out what to do with your life, I can take you choosing to change your major, I can take you not working in the field you spent years studying, instead going to work in a bloody clothing shop, I can take all your antics and interesting life choices and all your faults because I love you, I really do.” She took a deep breath, Roger on the other hand held his own.

“I can do all of this, but you calling me on a Sunday night to tell me you’re suddenly a father to a 3-year-old that neither you nor I nor anyone else in the family knew about...Roger, don’t you think, this is a bit too much, even for your standards?” 

There it was, the pure disappointment in his mother voice that made his heart flutter, his eyes burn, leaving his mind spinning. He hated how the quiet, tired voice of her always made him feel like he put shame on his family. Roger knew his mother didn’t intend to make him feel like that, but in the end it didn’t matter.

He was the black sheep of the family and this incident just proved it further. He was so tired of disappointing his mother. Maybe this would be the final straw, maybe this would be the moment where she finally tells him off, god knows, he’d deserve it. 

Now it was him, who stayed quiet, not able to bring himself to answer his mother question, knowing full well that it was rhetorical anyways.

After a moment he heard a soft sigh on the other end of the line.

“Roger, sweetheart, talk to me. Is it really this bad this time?” 

“I’m afraid, I really fucked up this time.” 

Another sigh, another beat of silence. Suddenly a loud squeak startled him, his head shooting up and the loud clattering sound coming from the kitchen. Within seconds he crossed the hall, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen. 

Ben still sat on his chair, beans everywhere, the teacup shattered one the floor. 

Green eyes looked up, startled, caught. 

“Oops.” 

Roger didn’t even have time to get angry, instantly diving to the floor to pick up the sharp pieces of porcelain, his mind still stuck at the conversation with his mother. 

“It’s fine, accidents happen, don’t worry.” Almost on autopilot, the man cleaned up the floor, taking one look at the mess and deciding to focus on the child first.

“Was that him?” 

“Yes, he threw a cup on the ground I think, he’s also covered in beans and sauce so I got to clean him up now. Mum listen, I’m sorry that this is all out of the blue, but I just wanted to let you know. Ben is staying with me now, at least until I can figure this whole mess out anyways. I’ll tell you the details another time, I really gotta go now.” He didn’t like cutting his mother off but right now he felt like he would lose himself and he couldn’t do that with the little boy staring at him with such big, innocent eyes.

“Okay dear, Roger, you know, I’ll always love you, right? I don’t know what exactly it going on right now, but if I know one thing about my son, it’s that he always somehow finds a way to manage to come out on top. So, don’t disappoint your mother. I trust you, just call me soon so I can chew your head off, and of course I want to meet the little fellow asap! Take care honey. Love you.” 

With that she hung up, Roger letting out a quiet string of curses, putting his phone back on the counter instead getting some paper tissues. He leaned down over Ben, using the tissues to clean up the coarser mess, yelping in pain as clammy fingers suddenly pulled down a few strands of blond hair.

“Ow! Fuck”, another sharp tug, Roger tried to step back, catching Bens glinting eyes.

“Mommy says, you can’t say bad words!” The voice was firm and wouldn’t have left any room for discussion, wouldn’t it have come from a 3-year-old boy covered in beans. 

Nonetheless, Roger couldn’t help but respect the sharp eyes staring him down, nodding softly he apologized and let out a relieved sigh as the tiny fingers released his hair again.

Rubbing his scalp, Roger grumbled even quieter this time and turned around to put the dirty tissues and the plates into the bin and sink. 

“No need to get physical, just tell me off next time.”

Ben ignored him, already having moved on and wanting to run off back to the living room, presumable to go back to play, Roger caught him though, lifting the boy up to carry him into the bathroom again.

After another exhausting cleaning session, maybe the boy got dirty on purpose, Roger was drenched yet again while Ben seemed to have the time of his life. At least they were both ready for bed now, exhausted and cleaned up.

Roger let Ben back into the living room while he also got changed, bones already aching for his bed. Man, children really sought the energy out of you. Still, he couldn’t help but smile as he heard the faint giggling sounding from the other room, his heart filling with unknown affection and warmth. 

Once he was also settled on his couch, relaxing into the soft cushions, turning on the TV, he gradually looked at Ben who was still playing with his plushie but was also yawning more often than not. 

After watching the little boy almost breaking his jaw Roger decided it was time for bedtime.

“Okay Buddy, how about we catch some sleep? Come here” he picked the toddler up and placed him between the pillows, frowning a little at how cold Ben’s skin seemed to be, grabbing an extra blanket and wrapping it around the boy. 

“Do you need anything else? Should we leave the light in the hall on?” Now he was the one yawning, mimicking the boy’s actions.

“Mommy’s not gonna say goodnight?” His sleep deprived mind almost missed the tiny voice, sounding so small and vulnerable that Roger sat back immediately, gathering the boy up in his arms. 

Tucking the tiny head under his chin, Roger swayed slightly, feeling completely helpless as how to tell Ben the truth while also avoiding to tell him the truth. 

“I’m sorry, for now it’s just me, Bud” He inwardly cringed at how weak he sounded.

“I guess Daddy’s fine too”, it didn’t sound very convincing but Roger didn’t blame the boy at all, instead dismissing all his own worries and placing a soft kiss on top of the blond hair, hoping the little gesture would sooth the child’s nerves a little. 

Soon Ben’s breathing calmed down, indicating the boy had fallen sleep on Rogers’ lap. Still, Roger didn’t get up, instead turning the TV down, getting lost in his own thoughts while he mindlessly gently let on hand run down the boy’s back for a few more minutes to assure the boy really would stay asleep.

As the clock struck closer to midnight, he felt too comfy to bring himself to get up, but he also knew his body would not take it lightly if he slept in this position, so Roger eventually carefully untangled Ben’s limps and laid the boy back into the cushions, mindlessly leaning down to press a chaste kiss on the blond hair before getting up and finally going to his own bedroom. 

As soon as he hit the sheets, he was out like a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Ben so much even tho I don't know shit about kids aha  
> let me know what you thought of this chapter and how I did with writing a 3year old without ever having met one ahah
> 
> Thank you again for reading and again check out the art/hmu on my [tumblr](http://mrdisrespecthood.tumblr.com/) ;)
> 
> until next time xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU!!! SOOO MUCH!!! FOR ALMOST 200 KUDOS!!!  
> Srsly thanks to every single person that clicks, reads and/or comments on this little piece of mine!  
> You all deserve eternal happiness for giving me so much love ughhh
> 
> Also BIG THANK YOU to this beautiful [human](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyButWicked/pseuds/TinyButWicked) being for saving my life last night;  
> without her this chapter would have been thrown into the trash ufff  
> Please note that I have no idea how the UK and child custody works over there, so I just used the german laws oops
> 
> And now please enjoy :)

The next morning Roger wasn’t awoken by harsh knocking; instead it was his alarm going off at precisely 7am, the shrill tone echoing in his room right into his left ear.

Grumbling, the blond man pulled the covers over his head, his hand blindly feeling for the annoying sound of disruption. 

Soon his fingers found the little device, switching the alarm off before groaning again at his aching back.

Apparently he wasn’t as fit as he thought he was. For some odd reason the muscles in his back protested at every move and his head was already throbbing what only could be a developing headache.

Why did he feel so knackered? 

Roger turned around in his bed, now lying on his back, ignoring the pain for a moment as he stared up onto the ceiling. His bed was empty, well beside him of course, so no night of lovemaking he suddenly had forgotten about. The flat seemed quiet enough, no noise coming from the bathroom or kitchen either. 

Roger closed his eyes for one more moment, he still felt rather drained and sleep was already pulling him back into blissful unconsciousness when a small sound coming from somewhere down the hall, drew his attention in.

His eyes snapped back open, memories of the past day flooding his head, only causing the throbbing to increase.

Shit, right. He had a son. He had a son called Ben, who had currently sleeping in his living room.

Roger quickly sat, stretching and wobbly got as he still was a bit sleep drunken. Rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes, grabbed his glasses before he wandered down the hall, shivering slightly at the sudden loss of warmth around him. 

He poked his head around the doorframe, one hand coming up to brush his untamed hair out of his face as he looked into the living room.

A small smile found its way onto his lips, his eyes softening at the sight.

Ben laid on his back, eyes still closed, his face relaxed. His small mouth slightly open, hands stretched from the body, the blanket almost slipping of the child. Small incoherent sounds were muttered but it wasn’t panicked or pained which calmed Roger, who had first expected that Ben might have nightmares. 

The man quietly walked into the living room, his bare feet almost inaudible on the soft carpet, he leaned down to pull the blanket back up over the boy, tucking him in again, before brushing one hand through the blond locks. 

Picking up the little plushie that probably had fallen down during the night, he wrapped Ben’s left arm around it, caressing the soft skin before getting back up again. 

Roger couldn’t bring himself to wake the little boy, instead he went to get himself ready as quiet as he could before grabbing his and wallet to go out and buy some breakfast.

He was going to be back in like 20 minutes, no need to wake the child and take him with him. Still, Roger hesitated at the front door, maybe he shouldn’t leave a 3-year-old all alone in a mostly unknown place…

Nah, fuck it, Ben didn’t seem like the child who would do anything too stupid and Roger trusted the little boy to be able to stay calm when waking up. As he pulled the door close behind him, a tiny part of him, still hoped that the boy would just stay asleep until Roger was back with some food.

Out on the streets he headed down to a little bakery, pulling his phone out to check the opening times for the registry office. He didn’t even know if it was the right place to go but he had to find Ben’s mother and he only had her name. Where else would he look?

As he searched through the net, he also got a few messages from his mother and Dominique. Roger quickly replied to the first ones but figured he would call Dom later to let her know he wasn’t coming in today. He felt a bit bad but he couldn’t really deal with his best friend right now.

Once he arrived at his favorite bakery, he settled for some scones and an apricot puff pastry before also getting a coffee for himself. He didn’t have much stuff at home that kids would like to drink, so Ben just had to settle for tea again. It was healthier than these over sugared juices anyways. 

Back at home, Roger silently got up the stairs leading to his flat. Listening closely to any sounds coming from out of his flat indicating that Ben was already up and messing up the whole place or worse, crying because he was all alone.

No sounds came, the hall rather quiet besides the muffled talking sounding from his neighbors and a dog barking outside. 

His keys jiggling while he unlocked the door, stepping into his flat he listened again. 

Nothing.

Roger let out a relieved sigh, it seemed like Ben was still fast asleep, so he went into his kitchen to unload the food before undressing and peaking into the living room to see if everything was alright.

The sun shone through the window, casting the room in a soft orange glow. The seating area was untouched by the light, one of his pillows had fallen off the couch over night and the blanket was rumbled and piled to a big heap. 

Roger quietly crossed the room to unfold the heap in case Ben suffocated himself while he himself was out getting breakfast. 

To his surprise there was no blond head or small body hidden under the still warm fabric, instead there were just more cushions; no sight of Ben though.

Rogers head wiped around, his eyes wide open, frantically scanning the room for the 3-year-old. 

A rather unsuitable string of courses left his mouth as he went to check the kitchen, maybe he had missed the boy because he was so occupied with the food; god, what if Ben had looked for food and climbed onto the counter only to fall down, but he hadn’t seen an unconscious boy laying on his kitchen tiles and once he stepped into the room, there really was no bleeding child on the floor.

The bathroom! Oh no, Roger thought back to yesterday and how much Ben had loved to play with water; what if he had set his bath under water or worse what if he wanted to bath and slipped and cracked his head open!

Bursting through the door, which almost smacked him in the face from the pure sheer he had thrown it open, his feet stayed dry and no sign of Ben either.

Huh, well were else would the small boy be then? His flat wasn’t that big, only his own bedroom was left. What if that room was also unoccupied? 

As the blond man slowly stumbled over the hall and very careful, almost dreadfully slowly opened the door, blood rushing in his ears, his heart going to fast that he wasn’t sure if he would be able to stay upright if the room was empty as well.

The door creaked open agonizing slowly, the room was also illuminated by the sun, a soft glow shining through the window landing directly on the rumpled bed sheets.

Roger closed his eyes for a moment.

His hands running over his face and trough his hair, he stepped into the room. As he looked back up to the bed, a relieved smile on his lips as his eyes softened at the sight presented to him.

Ben laid face down in the middle of the mattress, face mushed in Rogers pillow, feet entangled in the sheet and tiny hand gripping onto the pillow, fast asleep.

Roger sat down on the edge of his bed, reaching over to pet the blond mob of hair, brushing some strands out of Ben’s face when the boy shifted his body towards the gentle touch.

“Oh Buddy, you just gave me a hell of a scare.” 

Roger had completely underestimated how quickly he would develop this overprotectiveness; how quickly he would get attached to the little boy and worry for his wellbeing. It surprised him just as much as it scared him. It had only been one day after all.

His thoughts were interrupted by whiny gibberish.

Ben’s previously relaxed face twisted into a more distressed frown. His tiny fingers reached out, swatting at Rogers’ hand while his legs kicked the sheets off. The boy was obviously not very keen on being awoken.

Roger pulled his hand back, not wanting to interrupt the boy’s slumber any further when he picked up just what Ben was mumbling in his sleep.

The tiny whimpers weren’t just incoherent gibberish, instead Rogers’ heart fell at the muffled words.

“No, please…I’ll be good.” Ben harshly jerked his head to the other side, his body twisting unnaturally. “Mommy, don’t go. Please stay, Mommy, please…” the young voice sounded way too distraught and Rogers chest ached painfully.

In less than a second Roger had Ben all gathered up in his arms, hugging the boy tightly as his right hand patted the boy’s cheek to wake him from his nightmare.

The chocked sobs mixed with the trembling body and the fat tears, that slowly ran down the flushed cheeks, catching on his fingers; the sight sent a rush of anger through Roger. 

How could any sane person leave behind this adorable little ball of sunshine? How could anyone leave their own child? How could anyone abandon their own blood? How could Ben’s mother just leave the boy at Rogers doorstep without any second glance?

“Don’t leave, Daddy”

How could he not have been there for Ben these past 3 years?

Roger buried his face in the blond locks, breathing in the strange but somehow already familiar scent. He knew, he couldn’t be angry at Ben’s mother, he has no right to judge her after all. He knew, he also can’t blame himself since he had no way of knowing Ben existed. How could he have been there for the boy if he only learned about Ben’s existence a day ago? 

The guilt and shame still churned in his stomach, sending a wave of nausea through Roger. 

But that was beyond the point right now. He knew, his feelings were unimportant at the moment, he had to focus on the shivering boy in his lap now.

Trying to reassure and sooth the troubled mind of the child, Roger rocked them lightly, his hands stroking Ben’s face, hoping that the tender touches wouldn’t scare the child any further but instead be a reminder that Ben wasn’t alone.

“Shh, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave, I promise.” In the far back of his mind, he knew, he shouldn’t make such declarations; not if the whole paternity thing wasn’t sorted out, but in that moment, Roger couldn’t have cared any less.

In that moment, he meant it one hundred percent.

Roger didn’t know how long they stayed like this, Ben slowly waking up but not calming down completely. The child still obviously troubled, shivers running down the tiny body as he clung onto Roger, desperately trying to ground himself.

“Thought you left just like Mommy. When I woke up no one was there.” The words were muffled by Rogers jacket but the man still understood every single syllable. And suddenly felt like crying himself.

How stupid could he have been? Of course, Ben would come to that conclusion if he woke up to unfamiliar place, all alone and without any clue where his father could have gone.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. Ben, I didn’t even…Ow!” He was stopped by a sharp tug on his hair. Confused for seconds before rolling his eyes, Roger lifted his head to smile at the boy in his lap.

Big, watery eyes stared up at him. the child’s face pale with red rimmed eyes and patchy cheeks and a small pout on the lips, Ben scolded him “Told you, don’t say that!” 

Roger only nodded, a small smile on his lips as he pressed a light kiss onto the tip of Ben’s nose, before leaning his forehead against the boy’s.

“I won’t leave you alone again. And I’m really sorry I scared you.” 

Roger felt Ben nodding slowly, green eyes still glued to the blue ones above him but something had shifted. The previous panic seemed to resolve, uncertainty and a hint of hopefulness taking its place instead. 

“I promise.”

Pure happiness overtook Ben’s features and while Roger knew he was in some deep shit for uttering that particular word, the warmth and love radiating from the boy was more than anything he could ever ask for. 

The sweet moment was interrupted by a loud growling and for a second Roger was too surprised by the sound to really register what it was that caused it.

Ben also looked a bit surprised and after another soft growling, the boy looked down at his stomach, astonishment clear on face.

Roger laughed at the cute expression “Sounds like someone in dire need of some food? Come on, let’s get something in there before you wake up the whole house!” 

Ben giggled as the man lifted them both up, the tears sealed and the nightmare forgotten the boy’s airy laugh tickled the sensitive skin on Rogers neck as Ben tucked his head under Rogers’ chin.

Once Ben was settled on the couch, Roger figured the boy would need some more affection in the form of hugging and kisses which were a lot easier to give if you set next to each other, and remembered the letter.

Susie, Ben’s mother, had mentioned that the boy was rather fond of music so maybe it would sooth his nerves a bit if he put on some. Roger wandered over to his record collection, inspected the precious vinyl and selected a few for Ben to choose from.

“Here, how about you decide on one while I get breakfast ready?” 

Roger laid down the selection and nudged the boy closer to it, reassuring him that it was okay to look and of course touch them. 

Ben nodded slowly, green eyes wide in astonishment, gazing over the records in awe. Small fingers running over the smooth surface; careful and a bit hesitant, as if the boy was scared, he’d damage it by being too rough. 

Roger couldn’t help smile fondly at the scene in front of him. Shaking his head he headed back to the kitchen to sort out the food and get their breakfast ready.

He quickly threw the pastry and scones in a little bread basket before deciding against tea and got Ben some milk instead. After balancing all the food and drinks back into the living room and setting them down on the small table, Roger glanced at the record Ben was admiring.

The dark surface with the pale face threw him a bit off, he had to admit, he did not expect Ben to choose a rather melancholic song. He had expected him to choose a vibrant cover, something with bright colors or smiley faces on the front.

But nonetheless, Ben choose Piano Man, his tiny fingers gripping the record tightly. 

“You wanna listen to this?” Roger still needed to confirmation. 

Ben nodded animated but his expression was still a bit worried, as if he was afraid, he had chosen the wrong thing. Not wanting to make the boy anymore upset, Roger took the record out of the cover and placed under the needle, starting the player.

As the telltale piano keys and the scratchy sound of the harmonica filled the living room, Roger sat down next to Ben, pulling him close and stuffing the pastry into the small hands.

“Here eat up, we got a lot to do today!” 

Ben eyes the doughy good in his hand suspiciously, bringing it to his nose to sniff it before shrugging his shoulders and biting into it.

Roger watched a bit perplexed at the strange behavior, waiting for the boy to explain himself.

Ben apparently didn’t seem to notice Rogers’ confusion, too caught up stuffing the pastry into his mouth after realizing just how good it was. Crumps and filling spilled onto the ground and Ben’s shirt but the boy was too occupied to really care at the moment. 

After the baked delicacy was devoured, Ben looked up at Roger. His mouth was smeared with crumbs and some apricot jam, fingers coated as well quickly got licked off. 

“Wow, that was quick. I mean, your mom mentioned you liked sweet things but damn, you really liked that, didn’t you?” 

“Mommy never got me these things! She says, it’s too expensive!!” Ben explained loudly, still in bliss from the fruity and sweet taste of the pastry, rubbing his hands on his shirt to get the sticky feeling off.

“Stop that, you’re going to get yourself all dirty again!” Ignoring the comment about Ben’s mother Roger instead quickly stuffed some scones into his mouth as he stood up to usher Ben to the bathroom.

After the leftover breakfast was brought back to the kitchen and Ben as well as Roger have gotten ready for the day, Roger grabbed his keys, Ben’s documents and of course Ben and headed out of the door.

Their first stop was the local registration office. Once they got their token and were seated in the waiting area, Roger pulled out the registration form for the kindergarten, filling it out while Ben was busy watching some videos on his phone. 

They had forgotten Ben’s plushy at home and so the child was rather moody especially since the whole ‘waking up alone’ incident still wasn’t completely forgotten yet. Roger figured, watching some harmless videos on YouTube were a nice distraction. 

After he was done, the man glanced over to the boy, eyebrows raising at the current video. Ben was currently watching a compilation of cats meowing softly and while the content seemed really cute, he still needed his phone back.

Promising the child that he would be done in second, Roger quickly called the number noted on the application and asked about the registration process. The lady on the other end of the line was very friendly and explained that Ben could still start today, given he would be here before 9.30. Roger looked at the clock hanging next to the monitor where the current numbers were displayed. 8.41. They could still make it.

He thanked the lady before handing the phone back to Ben though it only were a few more minutes before they were called into the office.

The woman at their designated desk was looking a bit grumpy and Roger already had a feeling that this would get difficult. 

After explaining that he would need the address of an old friend, showing the name and other information he had, the woman agreed a bit hesitantly before looking Susie up in the system.

Ben was sitting on Rogers lap, scooting around to get down and probably run off to god knows where but the man kept a firm arm around the slim waist.

The boy whined annoyed before he stilled for second, a delighted smile breaking out on his face.

Roger was still waiting for any information from the woman across him when he felt Ben’s sharp fingernails scratch at his hand and arm. 

Hissing at the sudden pain, Roger looked down “What are you doing, stop!” 

Ben just smiled mischievously before meowing sweetly, nestling his head under Rogers chin as if he was a cat snuggling up to the man. 

For a moment, Roger was completely dumbfounded. Then he felt a sudden wetness at his neck and physically jumped. Ben had just licked him! What was going on?

Cranking his head away from the now purring child, Roger sent a desperate look to the woman who watched them rather amused.

“Say, are you a little cat?” She asked Ben, smiling at him.

Ben just meowed and kept trying to playfully snag some strands of Rogers hair.

“What a precious thing you are”, she looked up and met Rogers eyes. “It seems like Ms Hardy left the country last week. She was here to deregister herself but she didn’t provide a new address. Though, it seems like we still had some business with her, let me see what it says here.”

She clicked and frowned, clicked some more and then looked back up again.

“Could it be that this little angle here is Benjamin?” She nodded towards the child who in return looked up at his name.

“Yes, well you see, Susie isn’t just an old friend. She’s actually the mother of this bugger and well, this is going to sound really-“

“Listen, it’s Monday morning and I don’t really care. I have like 2 years left and I don’t really care what happened to you or the child or Ms Hardy. The boy looks happy enough, I have a notification to inform the youth Welfare Office once she or Ben’s other legal guardian show up and let me guess, that’s you?” She didn’t sound angry or put off, just a bit annoyed and tired, so Roger swallowed the words and explanation and just nodded.

“Good, now apparently his mother already signed the paper for shared custody and you only need to head to this address, make an appointment ahead of the time, and sign as well. That should do it for now, maybe they have some information about the whereabouts of his mother.” She handed him a note with and address scribbled down. 

A thousand things were running through Rogers head at the moment, why was this woman just accepting that he was the father when he himself wasn’t even sure of that, and how did Susie arrange all that without getting into trouble and what did this lady mean, he should just sign the custody papers? 

He didn’t utter any of these questions though, instead tightening his grip around the still cat-imitating-boy, grabbed the note and thanked the lady before hurrying out of the office. Ben just waved at the lady, meowing loudly as goodbye.

Roger decided to ignore the whole situation around child custody and official documents and Ben’s mother and her strange arraignment for the time being. He would talk to his mother and to Dom and maybe they would know what to do. They were after all the smartest ladies he knew. 

First, he had to bring Ben to the Kindergarten though. 

After a short ride on the bus and a rather confusing walk through a part of London he has never been before, they finally made it to the blue entrance door of the Kindergarten. 

Ringing the bell, they only had to wait a short moment before an older lady let them in, greeting them in the entrance hall. 

Introducing himself and of course Ben, Roger handed over the registration paper, explaining that he had called earlier.

The woman nodded and introduced herself as Mrs. Wilson as she ushered them into her office. After they were all sat, she explained the procedure and gave Roger some more papers to fill out at home. She also explained that Ben’s mother had called last week to see if it was possible for the boy to start as soon as possible. Again, Roger wondered, just when the woman really had decided to ditch her child.

“Ben can stay for today and the rest of the week, but you’ll need to pay the fee within the next 3 to 4 days for him to attend next week again. Also, he is starting rather late into the year and the classes are already quite full but I think we can squeeze him into the hedgehog group. I have a feeling he will fit in perfectly; don’t you think so too?” The last part was more directed to the blond boy who agreed by nodding and not meowing, thank god, Roger thought relieved.

“Good, then let’s get you introduced to the rest of the group. We should make this rather quick, so he’s too engrossed by the new environment to notice your absence.” Mrs. Wilson whispered in Rogers’ direction as she led them down the hall.

Roger was only half listening. He had no idea how Ben was feeling, he himself felt completely overwhelmed by the situation. It was all a bit too much and he had to admit that he could really use some time to work through this in peace and without a 3-year-old jumping around him the whole day.

As he looked over the little benches standing on the wall, decorated with self-made name signs, jackets and boots neatly placed under them, some spare toys laying around the hallway, Roger was so lost in thought he hadn’t noticed they had already arrived at the ‘hedgehog group’ whatever that was supposed to be.

Instead of paying any attention to Mrs. Wilson or Ben or his surrounding, Roger just walked straight ahead until-

“Ouch” 

The blond man stumbled back, hands coming up, his mouth opening to mutter an embarrassed apology when his whole body froze.

He stared at the man in front of him. The man he had just ran into, the man looking back at him with the softest eyes he had ever seen and the craziest hair he had ever seen and the most beautiful smile he had ever seen and damn, Roger couldn’t do anything but stare.

“Mr. Taylor! Watch your step!” Mrs. Wilson scolded lightly, apparently obvious to the fact that Roger was not listening at all, “Brian dear, look we have newcomer! Ben, this is Mr. May and he’s your caretaker while you’re with us. Brian this is Mr. Taylor, Ben’s father and Mr. Taylor this is Mr. May, he is the teacher of our hedgehog group!”

The curly headed man extended his hand. Roger who still was rather dazed took it clumsily, shaking it and even managing a weak smile. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Mr. Taylor!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brian finally arrived!!  
> Also the story with a child imitating a cat really happened to me last week at the office, I was very confused aha  
> Did you guys have animal groups in Kindergarten? I was in the Hedgehog group myself back then, so I just had to resuse the idea here :)
> 
> Please, please let me know what you thought of the chapter and if you think it's too rushed or too slow!  
> I'm bad at pacing because I never write fics that long...
> 
> As always you can find me on [Tumblr](http://mrdisrespecthood.tumblr.com/), so please say hi ;)
> 
> Thank you again and till next time :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah, hello, anyone still here? If so, thank you so much for your patience!!  
> I really love every single one of you!  
> I'm sorry for the super long wait, the other stories just kept me busy BUT  
> hopefully I'll be able to bring out a new chapter next week!
> 
> There is not much to say about this chapter, please rememeber I dont know shit abt kids...
> 
> Now please enjoy :)

After leaving Ben at the Kindergarten Roger went to a few shops to collect some stuff for the boy and also decided to clean up the flat a bit.

He usually didn’t like doing the laundry and dusting off his flat but he found his thoughts wandering, back to Ben and their situation; back to this morning when Ben had feared that Roger had left him just a few days after his mother had practically abandoned him.

He set the plate down he was currently scrubbing, staring at the tiles above his sink and wondering if he had done the right thing with leaving Ben at the Kindergarten without really explaining him how that whole thing worked.

But weren’t children really good at accustomed to new environments? Especially since there were a lot of other kids there, they would help Ben getting used to the sudden change and Roger was sure, they would play games to distract the blond boy if he really got too sad.

Still, Ben had only just get used to Roger, and that was a far stretch as they only had spent a bit over 48 hours with each other. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

Roger thought back to the man who had introduced himself as Ben’s teacher.

That man had really thrown off the blond man and Roger couldn’t help but be curious about him. The gently and soothing atmosphere the man had around him really fitted the image of the soft dark curls, the warm eyes and the encouraging smile. 

What was his name again, his brows furrowed Roger tried to remember how Mrs. Wilson had called him as he put the now clean plates away.

May, Brian May. That’s what the lady had said.

Brian May. Roger hummed, the name sounded nice and somehow it, fit the tall man;

The teacher really had seemed nice and Roger decided to focus on his work instead of worrying too much.

Around 5pm he went back to pick Ben up again, as he walked towards the yellow painted building his thoughts went back to his previous worries about Ben being angry with him for leaving again.

He hoped the blond boy had either forgotten about it or would at least wait until they were home to break down in tears. Wow, that sounded harsh but Roger didn’t want the first real impression of him to be with a crying and upset child in his arms.

God, his head was messed up today, he really needed to get his shit together again.

This time around when he walked down the hallway, the place was filled with children running around and mothers desperately trying to catch them, ushering them into their jackets, dragging them out to their cars; it was loud and messy and Roger could feel the burning gazes from the women around him. 

The laughing and yelling were not really a problem for him as he had his fair share of loud kids at music class but the judgmental stares where definitely new for him. 

Roger pulled his blazer a bit tighter and tried to not make eye contact with any of these women, just go get Ben and then get the hell out of here.

What did they know about him?

They were probably just put off by his attire, he tried to reason with himself. And he had to admit his tight leather pants, his red blazer and the leotard blouse he was wearing may weren’t the most subtle things he had in his closet. 

But what was the point in dressing like he was a boring old fart? He was young and he wanted to express that in any way given. Pfff, screw them, Roger didn’t need them to think highly of him anyways.

In the doorway he could already see Ben’s teacher sending the children with their parents off when he caught sight of Roger.

“Oh, Mr. Taylor was it, right?” He smiled at him and Roger nodded quickly, not taking his eyes of the other man. 

“Yeah, but Roger is fine too, I don’t like being called that, kinda reminds me of my old man and well-“realizing that he was rambling, Roger coughed awkwardly and changed the topic, “so how did it go with Ben? Was he behaving alright?” 

The teacher laughed and Roger couldn’t help but relax at the soft sound. 

“Roger it is then. You can call me Brian if you want, but please don’t do it in front of the kids and about our little Ben here, how about you look for yourself.” Brian turned a bit to let Roger see what was going on inside the group room. 

It took a moment to locate where Ben was in the unfamiliar room but soon Roger found the blond mob of hair next to two other boys. One was rambling loudly, his hands flailing at his sides as the other boy held something close to his cheek watching the gushing boy.

Ben started laughing and earned a sharp look from the taller boy, he seemed only a bit older than Ben himself, then the boy’s face softened and he laughed along again moving his arms upwards as if he was punching the ceiling. 

Roger smiled at the sight, it seemed like Ben had already made a few friends. Hearing the innocent giggles and seeing the shy boy so openly enjoying himself really made Roger’s heart ache. It was endearing to watch and maybe this wasn’t going to be that bad after all.

He was so entranced watching the boys fooling around he didn't even notice how the man next to him was watching him just as fondly.

Suddenly there was a loud “Sweetheart! What in the world happened to you?” next to him and Roger physically jumped to the side, stumbling into Brian who was just as caught off guard and tumbled into the wall.

Once the two of them regained their footing and somewhat calmed down again, Roger looked at the man who had just scared them out of their minds. 

The culprit was a man, probably a few years older then Roger, standing in the doorway and looking at the boys Roger had only been watching seconds prior.

Roger mustered the man and raised one eyebrow. 

If he thought he dressed unique he had no idea how to describe this man’s style.

High waist white jeans with flowery embroidery, a yellow sweater and a green leather jacket, you don’t see that everyday now, did you? 

Also, that mustache was really something else, Roger had to take a double look because such a look on a father was just wrong. 

The man didn’t recognize Brian or Roger or the fact that he had just almost given them a heart attack instead he kept his gaze locked on the boys, who in return, were now all looking up, eyes wide like deer caught in the headlights.

The boy with the washcloth or whatever it was that he was holding to his cheek, perked up and a wide smile spread across his face.  
“Baba! I showed them your move!” The boy staggered a bit when he stood up but then all but ran to the man next to Roger.

“Rami, sweetheart, what are you talking about? Let me see your face?” The man leaned down and carefully lifted the cloth away revealing a dark bruise that actually really had to hurt, Roger winced at the sight.

The man continued to ignore him and gently brushed over the bruised skin, the boy flinching back but still wearing a proud smile, his eyes sparkling up at his what Roger could only presume to be his father.

“Joe said I couldn’t punch. I showed him your move!” The man just went back to cooling the cheek and nodded along, he didn’t seemed to be that worried but more intrigued. 

“Well that doesn’t really explain why you are the one with the hurt cheek…did he hit you back?”

Now Brian stepped forward, raising his hands in defense, “Fred, I promise you, nobody was punching anyone!” 

“Calm down, Bri, I ain’t blaming you for this. Now Rami tell me, how did you manage to hurt yourself that bad? That thing is already turning blue.”

Rami just shrugged and tried to get away from the fussing hands that currently inspected the cheek.

“Joe, get over here you little goofball.” The other brunet looked up at the call and turned to whisper something to Ben before pulling the blond up and dragging him over to the adults.

“I didn’t do anything Sir, Mr. Mercury.” 

The wild spirit, presumable Joe, seemed to have died down a bit, Roger chuckled at the immediate polite answer the boy gave the man without even receiving a question first. His eyes wandered from the giddy boy with the punched cheek over to the second unfamiliar boy, until they stopped at the blond.

Ben looked at Rami with big eyes and mustered the man with even bigger one. When Joe realized Ben’s caution, he pushed himself in front of the blond, raising his eyes to look straight at the man, chest puffing out. 

“Oh, shush honey, I know you wouldn’t hurt a fly. But maybe you can explain what exactly happened?” 

Joe seemed to think about the question for a second before nodding slowly, sending Rami a quick look to see if he was fine with him spilling the beans, receiving a shrug, he let go of Ben’s hand.

“He said he could punch real good. I said he couldn’t because he’s small. Then he went like this…” Joe started to draw his little arms back and punched the air in front of him, “and suddenly he went up.” Now the boy was more punching the sky until he mimicked punching himself in the eye. “Then he hit his face.”

Roger snorted. Brian and the man, Mercury or something, both sent him a sharp look while Ben just giggled along.

The soft laughter drew the attention from Roger to Ben. The ridiculously looking man glanced between the blond boy and Joe, smiling knowingly. 

“Ah Joseph, I see you found a new little blondie to terrorize.”

The chest puffs out even more and the frown on Joe’s face is far too adorable to feel any kind of threatened but it’s the thought that counts.

“I don’t terro..terrori..terrorize! I only give love!” Despite stumbling over that word, Joe still seemed to know what it meant and was apparently very hurt to be described with it. The man laughed, his son and Ben joining him though latter one was holding his hand over his mouth.

“Is that what your mother told you?

Then the man kneeled down, focusing on Ben, mustering the blond from head to toe before frowning, “and who are you? I don’t recall seeing you before?” 

“He’s Ben and he’s my best friend now.” 

The man glanced from Ben to Joe and back to the blond who was now nodding vividly, agreeing with Joe by pushing himself closer to the brunet.

“I see well then, nice to meet you Ben” with that he held out his hand waiting for the boy to shake it.

The blond just blinked at the man before gazing at the hand and then to Roger, question marks in his eyes.

Roger smiled at that, nodding approvingly, “Go ahead.” 

Ben nodded once and shook the extended hand.

“I’m Freddie, Rami’s father.” The man, Freddie, smiled and Roger couldn’t help but grin as Ben mirrored the blinding smile. Brian chuckled at the sight and this time Roger felt his heart melt a little at the sound.

Then Freddie stood back up and refocused his attention on the blond man, a bright look on his face as he gazed over Roger’s appearance. 

“Well would you look at that. Finally, someone with an actual fashion sense!” Quick hands ran over the red blazer, feeling the material as curious eyes studied the embroidery on the sleeves. 

The boys just giggled at the dumbfounded look on Roger’s face as the man was completely taken off guard by the nimble fingers and invasion of private space. 

“And would you look at this hair, you really don’t see many men pulling off such style with seemingly no effort.”

Roger stepped back when the man reached for his blond mob.

“See Brian, you don’t have to worry about your hair, you’re in great company now.”

At this Roger switched his attention from the way too close man over to Brian who spluttered and quickly averted his eyes, mumbling “never said I was” which caused Roger to grin at the shy behavior.

“I like your hair.” Wow, where the hell did that come from? And had he really just said that out aloud? Roger blushed as Brian looked up and their eyes met. Brian seemed to be a bit surprised at Roger’s confession.

“Uh thanks, you look good too”

At that Freddie glanced around, raising an eyebrow and sending the kids a helpless look. “Okay? What is going on here? I mean, I think we can agree we’re looking like damn snacks if that’s what’s happening right now.” 

Roger cleared his throat, “Um I’m Ben’s father, Roger Taylor, but like Roger is fine. Ben had his first day today, we are…um we’re new I guess.”

“Well that explains why I haven’t seen you two around before, nice to meet you. Freddie Mercury, but Freddie is fine as well.” 

They shook hands and before the awkward silence could rise up again, Freddie was back at fussing over Roger’s clothes, asking him where he get that blazer and how he made his hair look so effortlessly good.

Roger laughed at that and then told Freddie about the shop he and Dominque had which only seemed to excite the man more.

They talked for a bit, Freddie explaining that he was a designer and was always looking for niche shops to find the next hot thing and Roger inviting him over for a tour.

The boys had gone back to squabbling and Brian was just watching while talking to some other parents as well.

Overall Roger felt really comfortable talking to Freddie and was glad to have at least some kind of ally against all these posh mothers judging him from behind.

He noticed the golden band that looked suspiciously like a wedding ring but didn’t comment on it. Just because a lot of these women here seemed a bit off put by Roger didn’t mean Freddie’s wife would be as well. Not with the way the man was dressing himself.

Only a few moments later the boys suddenly stop their little playing around as Joe perks up and waves his hands over his head.

“Papa!”

Roger and Freddie turned around, a young man with brown hair and the same soft eyes as Joe walked towards them, giving them an unimpressed look.

He greets them with a short nod then turns his attention to the children, looking at Rami who’s still holding the cloth to his cheek to Joe.

“What happened here?” His voice was soft but firm and Joe shrunk a bit at the serious tone.

“Oh Deaky, get off your son’s back nothing happened. Also, you should be more worried about the blond little cupcake. Seems like Joe found a new victim for his ‘affection’ and I have to admit, I am seeing a type.”

The man deadpanned at Freddie, “Lucy is his sister, Fred.” With that he followed Freddie’s previous actions and smiled at Ben, Roger was just amazed how all of these people had such soft smiles, and bent down to brush through the blond hair.

“Is he annoying you?”, Joe pouted at that but still sent a worried look towards Ben, who denied the accusation by shaking his head and taking Joe’s hand back into his own.

Freddie cooed at them while the man just nodded, obviously satisfied with the answer he received.

“Well that’s good to hear, still we have to get going now. Joe say goodbye, your mother is already waiting at home. You don’t want to get on her bad side, right?” He winked at the boy who seemed a bit torn between putting up a fight in order to stay with Ben and following his father’s advice.

In the end he decided to go with the second one, hugging Ben and waving Rami before walking over to his father who had already picked up the boy’s stuff. As they left Joe rambled on about his day and his new friend and Rami’s failed punch earning a laugh from his father.

Freddie looked at the two retreating figures and then back at Rami, sighing he also went to gather the little back bag and jacket of his son, announcing that the two would also head home now. He grabbed the tiny hand and wished Brian and Roger a good night, making the latter one promise to show him the shop soon and just like that they were also gone.

Now only Ben, Roger and Brian were left.

Roger bent down to pick the blond boy up, brushing through his hair while the child proceeded to snuggle up to Roger, pressing his head to Roger’s neck.

“So, how did he really do?”

Brian smiled at the sight, his voice just as soft as before, “pretty well I’d say.”

“Really? I’m glad, it’s all a bit much right now, so I’m happy at least one thing seems to be working out.”

“He’s going to get used to it in no time, with younger children it’s actually a lot easier. He was a bit shy during the first hour but that’s normal. I still think he handled it better than most of the other kids I’ve had in my group. To be away for the first time, I mean” Brian surely meant to reassure Roger but the blond man couldn’t help but avert his eyes at the last part.

“Are you usually going to pick him up around this time? Or is someone else coming to get him? Mrs. Taylor maybe?” The taller man obviously tried to sound nonchalant but Roger still felt his breath catch at the question. For a second, he didn’t react, his mind racing to find a suitable reply.

Brian noticed the sudden stillness and scratched his neck awkwardly, Roger knew this wasn’t supposed to be such a big deal, there are a lot of single parents but deep down he knew that it was mostly single mothers with men just leaving the family.

“Uh, yeah I’ll usually get him around this time, and it’s just going to be me, I think.” His voice wavered and he hated how insecure he sounded, this was not something he needed to be afraid of. He knew that and still, some how he didn’t want Brian to think any less of him.

Ben clearly noticed how his father squirmed and brought his tiny arms around Roger’s neck, hugging him while humming some song that Roger didn’t recognize. 

“Um sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” the teacher awkwardly glanced through the hall, “I shouldn’t have asked, that was very insensitive and just plain rude” now it was Brian’s turn to sound very uncomfortable and Roger sighed.

“No, you were just asking the usual I guess,” Roger shook his head, trying to sound confident but failing miserably. “I just…I’m sorry, this is all a bit much and I guess it’s just me and him right now and that thought is just scary, sorry I’m rambling”, he stopped himself, a hand going through Ben’s curls to reassure the boy that everything was fine.

Brian’s eyes softened and there was a strange look on his face.

“I get that. I mean, I don’t know what happened but I know how it feels to be all on your own with a child and have seemingly no one to talk to.”

Brian hesitated, waiting if Roger would interrupt but the blond just looked at him, curiosity evident in his eyes.

“I also have a son at home, he’s a few years older than Ben. His name is Gwilym and he’s already going to first grade but we’ve been mostly alone. His mother…” Brian staggered, breaking eye contact he stared into the room, not looking at anything in particular, “his mother didn’t leave on her own accord but well, she left. We’ve been on our own since then.” Voice thick, Brian tiredly rubbed his face as if he was suddenly very exhausted and drained.

The heavy silence that followed made Roger even more anxious and he felt bad for reacting so badly to Brian’s question in the first place, obviously having something triggered in the other man. He coughed and hoisted the blond boy up to secure him a bit better, opening his mouth to say something but stopped, not knowing what would be appropriated. 

Sure, their situations seemed similar but, in the end, he had no idea what Brian meant by that. Had she been taken away from her own child? From her loving family? Brian had probably been separated from the love his life while Roger couldn’t even properly remember Ben’s mother. The emotional baggage was nothing to compare. 

Then Brian looked back at him, eyes still sadder than Roger liked but with something else burning there as well. The soft smile immediately lightened the mood and then Ben had to fuck it up again.

“My mommy left.” The voice was quiet but not sad. It was like he was stating a fact, well it was a fact but still, Roger felt horrible, his stomach clenching painfully.

Before he could say anything, Brian just nodded, smile never fading;

“I see, well that’s not nice either. But you got your daddy now, don’t you?” His curls bobbed slightly as he tiled his head and smiled at Ben, the boy nodded, muttering approvingly. 

Then the teacher clasped his hands together, focusing back on Roger, the sadness almost gone;

“Well Roger, I know it can be a lot and I know it will be hard but, I’m serious, if you ever need something, be it advice or just someone to listen, don’t hesitate to come to me. I know, I’d have loved some help back then.” Brian sounded genuine, almost pushy as if he really needed Roger to believe him. 

The blond just nodded.

It was strange, he had never met Brian prior to this day, he barely even had talked to him today and he knew even less of his past but somehow; somehow he still trusted this man; somehow he felt like he could turn to him, there was this certain calmness, the understanding that convinced him that he would never be turned down by him.

It was strange and it freaked him out a bit, maybe this whole conversation just was a bit too much and he just needed to clear his head, he had felt a bit weird the whole day after all.

“Thank you.” 

Then Brian turned around, the strange atmosphere bleeding out as the teacher grabbed Ben’s stuff and handed it to Roger who nodded thankfully.

Roger sent Brian one last glance, trying to look thankful and apologizing at the same time as Ben waved his little hand in goodbye.

“Bye Mr. May!”

The last thing Roger heard before leaving the Kindergarten, was the soft chuckle and he’d be lying if he said his heart didn’t go a bit faster at the sweet sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot finally proceedes and aren't these kids just the cutest?  
> Also I love how John just comes in, says five words and leaves again...
> 
> The punch Rami did was inspired by Jenna Marbles hitting herself in the face while livestreaming.
> 
> Please let me know what you've thought in the comments or say hello on my [Tumblr](http://mrdisrespecthood.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you again for reading!!
> 
> Until next time xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people are starting to worry + Rog and Ben shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? A new chapter already?  
> Don't get used to it ;)
> 
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!  
> I still cannot believe people actually care and like this story, you all make me so immensly happy!!  
> I love you all so much!!
> 
> Now please have fun ;)  
> I promise the story will finally pick up :D

The next couple of days went by the same old routine of Ben waking up between 5 or 6am and starting to get lively until his antics woke up Roger as well. Despite them both being awake way too early, Roger still needed a lot of time until breakfast was served, they both were washed and dressed and everything was packed for yet another day. 

Then he would rush to the Kindergarten hoping to be on time and leave Ben there to get to work himself.

He had met Joe’s father again; John Deacon, he had introduced himself, the man was just a year younger then Roger himself but seemed to more put together than Roger in any way given. 

They had only passed each other in the hall, so Roger didn’t have that much time to really talk to him.

Sadly, he hadn’t seen Freddie again. Which was a shame really because he had really liked the upbeat attitude of the charismatic man. 

Though he always managed to exchange a few words with Brian which was easily becoming one of the favorites things about his day. 

Once Ben was reunited with his little group of friends, Roger had to get to work. He would usually stay a few hours in the shop, Dominique would come in around lunch time brining him some food and take over around 2pm.

Then Roger would go to the Art Centre in his district where he would get to work in the music hall, a bunch of students always hanging around, eager to soak in any advice he’d give. 

Though he couldn’t stay around that long anymore since he had to pick up Ben before the kindergarten closed. 

The first few days he made it in time, well only a few minutes too late. Brian would already wait with Ben, who didn’t seem to mind having to wait a bit, too busy with drawings or playing with Legos. Brian would smile understandingly, hand him the boy’s stuff, fill him in on the daily shenanigans of the little friend group and they would leave again.

The only problem was that Roger not always got there in time and whenever it was Mrs. Wilson sending him off, he’d get a disapproving look and a stern reminder about the opening times. 

It sucked because Roger was old enough and who was this lady scolding him like a little school boy; also, it felt embarrassing getting such a treatment in front of not only Ben but also Brian, who seemed to take great entertainment in Roger’s misery. 

Today it was already Friday and Roger was a bit shocked how fast the week had passed. 

He left the students a bit earlier today to make sure he really was in time this time, tired of Mr. Wilson and just overall ready for a long weekend.

Though it wasn’t going to be a very relaxed weekend probably; his mother and sister wanted to come on Sunday and Dominique needed him in the shop tomorrow.

Also, since there was no kindergarten on Saturday, he would have to take Ben with him which meant he needed to make sure the boy was content and happy at all times if he didn’t want him to scare any potential customers away. 

Roger smirked as he stopped at a red light, it was very unlikely that the blond angel would scare anyone but well he wasn’t going to take any chances.

Ben and him had gotten quite close, which was a good thing, but it still made Roger antsy when he thought about the documents waiting to be signed. 

After the unlucky start on Monday, Roger had made sure to always explain where he was going, why and when he would be back if he wasn’t able to bring Ben with him. It seemed to help as the boy rarely got upset anymore but maybe it was just that Ben had friends that he left and saw again the next, that helped in the end.

Roger didn’t really care what caused Ben to be more relaxed, he was just glad that there had barely been anymore tears. 

When the man finally made it to the kindergarten, it was early enough to have a quick chat with the teacher which immediately brought a smile to his face.

With all the stress coming from his busy schedule, Roger really did like the little conversations with Brian. It was nice to just talk about nonchalant stuff without having to worry too much and just have a good laugh about the ridiculous stuff the children sometimes did.

As he walked up to the door and peered inside, he found Ben in a matter of seconds as the blond usually sat around the little table in the far end, drawing something while Joe was next to him rambling. 

Not even a moment later brown curls popped up next to him.

“Roger! I don’t think you’ve ever been this early! I don’t know if Ben is ready to leave yet, you know, the two have been in the cahoots the whole day.” The men glanced back at the boys who still didn’t notice Roger’s arrival, “something is definitely up.”

The blond nodded, smirking at the concentrated frown on Brian’s face. The teacher looked like he was trying to read the mind of Joe or as if he tried understanding just what the brunet boy was going on about.

No such luck, though, suddenly a very fast Rami slammed into Joe, knocking them both down. The boy whispered something to Joe and then all three of them raised their heads to look at the two men that looked just as curious themselves. 

Roger agreed, “They’re definitely onto something.” 

“Sometimes I really would like to know what is going on in their little heads.”

“It’s probably better if we don’t.” Roger stepped forward, “Ben come on, we’re leaving.”

As expected, the blond just groaned and yelled a quick ‘no’ before turning back around to continue drawing.

Roger gasped, turning to Brian. “Can you believe this? A week ago, he’d never have dared, that Joe kid is messing him up.” His voice dripped of sarcasm and Brian couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, I have to admit these two are really something else. Did you already have a chance to meet Veronica or did John talk to you about a potential play date?” Brian was leaning easily against the bookshelf and Roger was a bit torn between keeping his eyes on either Ben or Brian.

He turned to face the tall man but cranked his neck to still send a demanding glare towards the friend group, his glares only met the backs though so he gave in, giving Brian his full attention.

“No, sadly I didn’t. I mean, I did see John but there wasn’t really time to talk about such things.” He hadn’t really spent a lot of time thinking about play dates and talking to other parents than maybe Freddie but he had to admit, it was a good idea. 

“It can help. When you need to get some stuff done or just well need a break in general. Not saying that it can’t be a lot if the kids stay at your place but…” Brian staggered, his eyes flinging around the room, never settling on one thing in particular, “well I just meant, it is a great way to get some air in between all the craziness kids bring into our lives and you-“

The teacher stopped, catching himself before softly shaking his head. Roger though he would continue but the tall man stayed quiet, not finishing the sentence.

The thing was, Roger knew he looked like shit. He knew his usually dazzling appearance was far off today, had been for the last two days really. His hair was an untamed mess that resembled a bird nest more than anything, his clothes were wrinkled and not really that put together and he knew about the dark shadows beneath his eyes. 

He looked like shit and Brian’s comments obviously targeted this exact problem. 

But he couldn’t help it. Roger had tried to keep it up but it was just too much at the moment. With Ben taking a nap once they were home, the boy got way too eager when the evening rolled around. The 3-year-old needed a lot of entertainment and a plushie and some cars just wouldn’t do and while Roger really liked the little chases and bath adventures the two had, it left him more drained than any day at work could.

And that was the next thing he had completely miscalculated. 

Now that he rarely got sleep since Ben apparently thought 6am was a good time to wake up and also wanted give Roger this precious experience by hopping on the bed until the man had to physically capture and drag him into the bathroom, Roger was often very unrested throughout the day. 

It was a vicious circle. The late nights would lead to short amounts of sleep and just drag him further and further down the rabbit hole. It really left him wondering, just where did Ben get all this energy from?

So, work wasn’t working out as well as it could and it just added more of that unwelcomed anxious feeling to Roger’s gut. And it had not even been a whole damn week!

Roger ran a tired hand over his face, sighing and brushing the loose strands out of his sight.

He looked at Brian, trying to look thankful and appreciative but by the pitiful look on the other man’s face he was doing a fairly poor job.

“Thank you. Maybe that would really help. I’ll have to find a way to set something up, but really Brian, thank you.” He flashed him a quick smile, hoping that at least this would convey any positive emotion before a shout let them both look into the room.

A little girl with piggy tails was running up to them, her little hands pulling on the sleeves of Brian’s shirt. She tugged the teacher away, rambling about needing help at the store “the fruit basket fell over!”

Roger just shrugged, he had no idea what that meant and as the two men shared one equally amused look, the blond man turned to Ben. 

Just in that moment the child also looks up and caught Roger’s eyes. 

“I’m gonna get your things. Say goodbye to your friends.” His voice sounded drained but Ben still nodded before quickly turning back to Joe and Rami. 

Smiling at the loud giggling coming from the three boys Roger also turned back, stepping into the hallway over to Ben’s little niche and started packing up the boy’s stuff.

Before he was even finished, he already heard little feet running towards him and soon his legs were evolved by a rather tight hug. Ben pressed his little face into Roger’s hips, “Missed you! We built a tower! It was just like Rami!” 

Roger placed a hand on the soft curls and Ben pressed his chin upwards so he could look up to the man, smiling brightly as he started ranting about his day.

“The tower was so tall. I made the top. Put a flag on top.”

Roger took the boy’s hand and led them outside.

“We learned some flags today. Our flag is hard! Ireland is so much easier!”

They made it to the station and Roger opted for picking the boy up, during rush hour it was always a bit too busy and he didn’t want Ben to get trampled. 

“Where does that train go? Rami says, he never uses the train.”

Once they were in the right train, Roger let Ben back onto his own feet. The loud bustling noises surrounding them drowned out the soft voice of the child so he had to concentrate hard to make out the questions and information spilling out of Ben.

Trying his best to answer or provide further information while also keeping an eye on the energetic boy, the familiar feeling of uncomfortable pressure on his temples let Roger know about the oncoming headache. 

He really couldn’t wait for this day to be over.

When they finally made it home and the door fell shut behind them, Roger let out a loud groan unloading all of Ben’s belongings right there, in the middle of the hallway.

Ben didn’t seem to care about, he grabbed his bag and rushed into the living room to return to god knows what.

Roger on the other hand stretched his back, his joints cracking loudly, his tense muscles finally relaxing somewhat; he threw off his coat, slipped out of his boots and made his way to the kitchen.

Putting up a kettle and opening the fridge door, he went over his options for dinner.

The cheapest thing would be toast and jam, the healthiest thing would be bread and some veggies but the most appealing thing was most definitely ordering a pizza and calling it a day.

Yeah, that sounded good to him. 

After placing his order and getting some tea ready, Roger went back to the living room. And just as expected the blond boy had fallen asleep without another word. Maybe he shouldn’t let that happen anymore but a tired Ben was a cranky Ben and Roger was in no mood for that.

He let the boy sleep and just passed the time with watching some TV. The sound didn’t seem to bother the sleeping child, it was only when the delivery guy rang the door bell that Ben stirred awake.

Roger paid and brought the delicious smelling food into the living room, settling it down on the table before getting some plates as well.

No need to ruin his couch any further.

As soon as they were done and Ben was positively covered in tomato sauce, cheese and somehow bits of mushroom ended up in his hair, Roger decided it was time for a bath.

Then He brought the leftovers back in the kitchen and rolled his shoulder, his back still tense. He ran a hand through his messy hair, cringing at the oily feeling. He definitely also was in a dire need of a shower.

So, to kill two birds with one stone, Roger opted for just taking the bath with the little boy. 

Setting Ben down on the toilet, the man filled up the tub with warm water, dumping soap in it as well, knowing the bubbles would cause a lot of fun later on.

While the water filled in, clean clothes were sat down on the laundry basket, fresh towels were laid out and then Roger helped Ben undressing, tossing the dirty shirt in the direction of the basket, the pants were put aside as they weren’t dirty and they needed to go shopping first.

After the boy was placed into the warm water, already flailing his arms to destroy the bubble mountains, Roger pulled his own shirt over his head, pants and socks following quickly.

Once they both were seated in the tub Roger leaned back against the cool porcelain, closing his eyes but keeping a hand on Ben’s waist in case the boy wanted to try diving.

The loud giggling was surprisingly helpful with letting the tension flow from his aching body and flowery scent of the soap only increasing the comfortable atmosphere, his headache already fading again.

It felt good to just let go for a moment, their week had been full of up and downs, so to finally get a chance to completely relax really was a blessing.

The bouncing boy didn’t seem to mind Roger’s dozing as he entertained himself just fine with forming hats and beards out of the foam, only squeaking when the product got into his eyes.

“Wash it out with water” was all Roger mumbled but he did open an eye to see how much damage had been done.

Ben looked at him, eyes red and teary but he put clasped his lips firmly together, nodding bravely and followed the advice. Then things turned a bit ugly. 

Maybe washing soap out of your eye with even more soapy water wasn’t the best idea.

As the boy began to cry softly, Roger quickly sat up and grabbed one of the towels, swearing silently before handing it to the boy as he took the shower head and let some clean water run over his hands before helping Ben cleaning his eye.

When they were done with that, Roger quickly washed Ben’s hair, careful to not repeat the situation and then hauled Ben out of the tub.

“Stay. Dry yourself.” His commands were short but well intended. The man washed his own hair and then stepped out himself, chuckling at Ben’s poor attempt to work with the way too large towel.

“Here let me help you”, he kneeled down and rubbed the soft fabric all over the boy, causing another giggling fit. As he was working on drying himself, Ben left the bathroom, now running buttnaked through the flat, screaming almost hysterically. Roger groaned loudly before taking after him.

Later when they were both settled in Roger’s bed, Ben had decided he wanted to sleep here tonight and Roger was way too tired to actually put up a fight, Roger pulled the boy close, smiling softly at the cute child. The moon illuminated the room softly and Ben seemed to grow more and more sleepy, so Roger started humming some random songs, petting the little head softly until they both finally fell asleep.

*

The next morning started early as well. The two got out of bed and dressed, planning on getting breakfast on their way to the shop.

Dominique wouldn’t be happy about the food and Ben being there the whole day but maybe if he grabbed her something she wouldn’t bitch too much.

The day went by slowly, Ben playing with some clothing that Dom had sorted out for charity while Roger was busy charming people into buying their stuff. His partner was at the counter, going over their new arrivals and setting up prices and stuff. Overall just a very ordinary day.

Though as the day neared its end, Roger grew more and more restless. Dominique seemed to pick up on the nervous energy surrounding the blond until it got too much and she cornered him when he was putting some clothes back.

“Okay, spill! What’s wrong?” Crossing her arms over her chest, she waited for him to answer.

Glancing towards Ben, Roger sighed, running a hand over his face. 

“It’s just. It’s a lot and I’m not used to this. I can’t stop thinking about the next rent and how I’m going to pay for it. My mum’s coming over and she will pick up on it as well and I haven’t had a drink in over a week.” He looked at his friend, knowing she wouldn’t understand his distress one bit.

“Oh, grow up, you should have thought about that when you fucked that lil bird. It’s not so bad, right? You seemed pretty happy when you came in today.” She stepped close to him, putting her hands on his shoulder, “how about you leave early today, clean up the flat and not worry about money for a bit. We can do a sale or something and if all fails, I’m sure your mum would still help you out.”

Roger appreciated the sentiment but asking his mother for money was not really something he wanted it to come to. Also, that would only help him momentarily. 

“And maybe you didn’t have a drink but didn’t you tell me about that nice teacher from Ben’s Kindergarten? How about the two of you grab a coffee and have some fun, I’ll take the little one for a night if it means you’ll stop stalking around with a sour face and scaring away all our customers.”

“Hey, I do not!” Roger shrugged her hands off, Dominique laughing at the hurt look on his face, “I’ll have you know, that I am very charming and people love me!”

“Good, prove it to me by asking out the teacher then.”

Roger blushed at the mention of Brian, because yes, he had told Dom about Ben’s teacher, but he may have forgotten to mention that it was indeed a man.

Not wanting to start that conversation now, Roger just grumbled a few incoherent words and pushed the woman aside, almost rushing to the girl that just stumbled into the shop.

But even has he helped her finding a few skirts in her size, complimented her and used his usual lines to get customers comfortable, his mind always seemed to wander to someone else with less curvy hips and more curly hair;

The next day started a bit less stressful. When Roger woke up, Ben was already up and, judging from the erratic sounds coming from the living room, watching TV. The man didn’t really mind it, this early there were mostly cartoons on anyways, so he wasn’t really worried about the child watching unsuitable content.

Roger glanced at his alarm clock and groaned. His family would already arrive in less than an hour and he hadn’t done anything yet.

Apparently, he had alerted Ben with his unhappy sounds and soon enough the child came running into the bedroom, launching himself on the bed and well, also onto Roger. The blond groaned but couldn’t really be mad at the giggling boy.

Roger looked up at Ben who was sitting on his lap, looking at him expectantly. 

“What’s up, Bud?” 

“I wanna fly!”

Roger snorted at that, sitting up a bit, “Good for you.”

That didn’t seem to amuse the child if the grumpy frown was anything to go by, “No! Flying like with Mommy!”

That smacked the grin right out of Roger’s face, the man sobering up at the mention of Ben’s mother.

“What do you mean?” Decided to play dumb, not that it was just imitating to play since Roger really had no idea what that meant, he waited for the boy to continue.

“You lay down and do this” Ben laid on his back and stretched his arms and legs up into the air, “then we fly!”

Hm, sounded simple enough though Roger still didn’t know how exactly that was going to work. Not wanting to upset the boy, he just followed the instruction and laid on his back like a beetle that fell over.

Ben, obviously happy with the result, wasted no time and crawled on top of the man, well tried to at least. That’s when the penny dropped, Ben wanted to balance himself on Rogers hands and legs so that he could pretend to fly.

After some flailing on both sides and then finally a successful try, the two of them spent at least half an hour giggling and ‘flying’ much to Ben’s delight.

Soon enough however, Roger had to get up to at least try and get the flat in a decent state so that his mother wouldn’t bite his head off.

With the very unusual help of Ben, the two of them actually managed to clean the flat to somewhat acceptable state. And just shortly after the exhausted pair sat down on the couch, the doorbell rang.

The first thing is mother did was hug Roger, the second thing was she sat her stuff down until she finally turned towards Ben, leaning down to him and taking a big long look at the child.

Clare was a bit more pragmatic and just swooped into the flat, gathering the boy out of her mother's watching eyes and into her arms, to mush her face against the soft cheeks of the child.

 

Ben squealed delighted and Roger let out a relieved sigh.

 

His mother on the other hand didn't seem to be all that convinced yet, though she didn't want to scare the boy off and waited until he was released again. Ignoring her daughter's gushing and flailing about how adorable and cute and lovely Ben was, the woman finally introduced herself.

And as soon as Ben heard the word ‘grandma’ he launched himself into the open arms, head snuggling close and giggling happily.

“Well, now that’s a welcome I could get used to”, the woman smiled and petted the blond hair, her fingers brushing over Ben's cheeks as she took another look at the boy's face, frowning ever so slightly.

“Clare, sweetheart, how about you two go ahead and sit down in the living room, Roger and I will get the tea.”

Clare simple nodded and pulled the boy away, questions bubbling out of her even if Ben wasn't able to answer them quick enough.

Meanwhile Roger and his mother stepped into the kitchen, the man already setting up the kettle, his mother staying in the doorway.

“Roger.” 

He didn't acknowledge her, instead opening the cupboard to pull out some tea bags and cups before also getting the sugar and milk. A soft cough finally letting him turn.

“Roger, calm down. I'm not here to lecture you, I simply wanted to see my grandson.” She smiled and his shoulder slumped. “So no advice and speech about upbringing then? Well, what do you think the? Now that you've met him?”

“He seems like a sweet child, full of energy and love.” The small smile on her lips almost looked sad, “he reminds me of you, but…”, she stopped, turning her head to see if the other two really couldn't hear them, “but do tell me, are you sure you are the father?”

Roger just groaned and turned back to the counter, throwing the tea bags a bit too forcefully into the cups, annoyed that his mother couldn't even wait five minutes before ruining the mood.

“I thought we had this discussion already and didn't you say, you only came to meet Ben? Be my guest and go meet him. In the living room. And stop shitting on me for nothing.” His voice was controlled but after the whole week he just had and the fact, that they had already talked multiple times on the phone and yet his mother still couldn't help but nag at him, he was really having a hard time to keep his temper down. 

The sharp smack of lips proved that she knew what she had promised but it didn't really matter to her as it seemed.

“Roger Meddows Taylor if I hear you swearing around that boy, or any boy given, I swear you'll learn the true meaning of punishment.” Her mood was worsening, and Roger was reminded just where exactly he had gotten his temper from, the woman losing her patience just as quick as her son.

“And I was always, and I mean always, supportive of you and nothing else and you know that but if you think this is going to be over as quick as a damaged car or failed exam,” she stepped towards him, “then I pray to God that that boys’ mother shows up before this whole thing goes down the drain.”

That was it, Roger could not listen to her for one more second. He turned and pushed towards her, his blood boiling as he held his hands at his sides.

“I am not taking this lightly! I try to get him everywhere in time! I looked up all the medical stuff children need! I bought all kinds of clothes and toys and sh- stuff for him! I am constantly stressed out about forgetting something, about not making enough money to pay for both of us and still managing my life besides that!” He took a deep breath, he needed to calm down. Ben was in the room down the hall and he would never ever want that the boy would hear him shouting with so much anger.

“And no, I do not know if he's really my son but do you know what I know? I am here now while his mother, his real biological mother, decided to piss of to god knows where.” He finished, still breathing heavily and suddenly he felt tired. The effect of last nights had vanished within seconds, only a hollow exhausting nothing filling him up, almost choking him; he had to sit down. 

Grabbing the nearest chair, he let himself fall down, bracing his elbows on the table and putting his head into his hands.

Above him his mother sighed. A warm, comforting hand brushing through his hair, waiting for him to collect himself again.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. But honey, that’s what I'm talking about. You've only been a father for a week and look at you. You're exhausted and stressed and that's how it's like to raise children, believe I know what I'm talking about, but you are alone.” Her voice was filled with remorse and she also sounded strangely fatigue. “Your sister and I can't come down to help you, and I am pretty sure while your friends are happy to help out, you have no one by your side.” 

“I know” he sniffled, wiping his hands across his face, “I know that and fu- and I'm so scared I'll mess it up. I can't ruin his life by messing him up but I also can't leave him alone.” He looked up at her, his eyes red rimmed, unshed tears glistening in the light, “then I would be no better than my father.” 

His mother drew in a sharp breath, her reassure hand now gripped his shoulders harshly, “Roger, don't. Don't ever put your father's misdoings onto your shoulders.” She looked at him, her eyes piercing as she continued “you are a different man, you have done mistakes and you'll continue to do them in the future. You have flaws and talents, you're loud and attention demanding but you're also kind and caring. You do not carry his burdens.” She squeezed his shoulder again and then smiled.

“The boy feels at home here; he is happy and you are too stubborn to not make it work anyways. I'm sorry for my earlier outburst but believe me when I say, I have the best interests.” Roger nodded, he knew that, it was just- “I simply don't want you to take this too lightly. You are right, if you left the boy now it would definitely hurt him, a lot probably but if in a few years, it turns out you're not the father, the consequences will be fatal.” her voice had lost its bite, more soft now, hoping to show the blond that she really hoped for the best.

“I know and I'll figure something out but I need some time. It's just a bit much right now, I'm sure in a few weeks everything will have settled down and it won't be this bad anymore” but even as he spoke, Roger knew, that there were problems that wouldn't lessen as the time went on, much more the opposite in fact.

When they finally emerged from the kitchen, setting the tea down on the little table in front of the couch, everything seemed almost alright again.

Clare was currently in a tickling war with Ben, Roger just laughed at the hysterical giggling and his mother watched them fondly.

The day passes rather quickly after his family left again, his sister actually also hugging him now before refocusing on Ben, when his mother pulled him into a tight hug, her lips brushing against his ear.

“Don't forget to look after yourself.”

She was right, he needed help. He couldn't do this alone and he couldn't let his own pride get in the way of Ben's happiness.

So, when Monday morning finally rolled around and Ben was dropped off at the kindergarten, running happily towards his friends, Roger turned to Brian, put on his most charming smile and ignored his hammering heart.

“I was wondering, if you maybe would want to get a coffee or something some time?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now would you look at that, Roger is finally acting on his strange feelings ;)  
> also the flying thing is something my mum did all the time with my sis and me, it really was the best thing ever
> 
> Anyways, thank you again for reading! I appreciate you all so much!  
> Please let me know what you thought in the comments or say hi on my [tumblr](http:/mrdisrespecthood.tumblr.com) :)  
> we can talk about how much I love Roger ahahh
> 
> also the next update will probably be a while bc I'm leaving for vaca tomorrow and won't have time to write.
> 
> until next time  
> xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I haven't been replying to comments, I was too busy these past weeks.  
> But still a bit thank you to everyone who left a kudo, comment or just read along!  
> Love you all lots and hope you enjoy this chapter!

Roger was standing in front of the old gold-plated mirror and shuffled from one foot to another, trying to get a feel for his outfit. The colorful blouse definitely was an eyecatcher and the black velvet blazer brought in the whole serious vibe, it looked really good. At least that was what the blond thought and he was his own harshest critic. 

“God, what are you doing over there?” Dom came up behind him, walking over and propped up her hands on his shoulder, looking at his reflection in the mirror. “You look good, I like the blouse, really fits the whole ‘I am a father now’ vibe.” She giggled at his annoyed huff and let go of him.

Maybe this outfit was really too casual, not fitting for someone meeting up with their son’s teacher? Nah, Roger shrugged any doubts off as he rolled his shoulders and turned to get back to the front room of their shop, curious to see what his boy was up to.

Dom followed him, berating him on his questionable choices and teasing him about the upcoming event. Roger barely paid her any mind, she was just being a pain in the ass, so nothing new for him. After he had popped the question, Brian had just looked at him surprised and if Roger was being honest, that were probably the most uncomfortable seconds of his whole life, but then Brian’s face had softened and he had smiled, nodding, his eyes warm and understanding.

Maybe he hadn’t expected Roger to really take upon the offer but in the end, he had seemed quite okay with it, so Roger figured he didn’t overstep any invisible line and was happy to finally be able to talk to someone who seemed to understand his own worries.

Ben was currently playing dress-up with his plushie and a little doll Dom had given him; that thing seemed more like out of a James Wan movie but the child didn’t seem to mind; Roger still watched them with guarded eyes.

“Okay Buddy, listen, you’ll stay with Dom, I’ll be home after dinner.” Roger leaned down to press a kiss on the child’s head but still kept a safe distance between the creepy doll and himself, Ben didn’t seem to notice the hesitation and just nodded mumbling something but really too engrossed with his toys to pay much attention. 

“Great! And don’t anything I wouldn’t!” 

“Oh, because that would actually limit anything.” Dominique swatted him on his shoulder and sent a sharp glance towards Ben, who just smiled at her and Roger. For a moment the two adults just watched the boy before Roger glanced at his watch, cursing at seeing how late it already was and pressing a quick peck on his friend’s cheek before rushing out of the shop. 

Why did he always end up being late? That was so embarrassing! But Brian would understand, he was a father as well, he knew how time-consuming kids could be from time to time. Did Roger feel bad for blaming his own failed time management on Ben? No, not really.

As he walked over to the subway, he subconsciously checked his appearance in the parking cars and the shop windows, making sure his hair looked actually decent and his blazer wasn’t wrinkled or his blouse didn’t fall awkwardly, and of course that his pants fit and-

Why was he even doing this?

He was meeting Ben’s teacher and not some bird he planned on taking home later. He was literally on his way to just get some coffee and talk about crying kids, never passing migraine and stinky poops! Okay, maybe not the last one, maybe he would keep that to himself.

But really, Roger felt himself grow more and more irritated and anxious the closer he got to the agreed café. What was going on? This was really nothing to be scared of or worse get nervous about. Just a quick chat and some hot coffee! He really was in the dire need of some time off.

The thought of going out alone sent an uncomfortable shiver down his back. Staying late in one of his favorite’s pubs, drinking too much beer and smoking too many cigs, music in his ears and bodies pressed to his sides; Roger shook his head, no he didn’t really want that. And that thought scared him a bit. He used to be out every single night, spending the weekends at parties until the sun rose again and now? Now he barely could stay away until midnight. 

On the other hand thinking about the warm coffee and the delicious fruit cake, talking about what was going on in his life, watching the brown curls bounce when Brian laughed at one of his dumb jokes, or when Brian brought up these ridiculous little anecdotes of his son, getting that shy but somehow so happy look on his face? Yes, that sounded rather nice. 

Roger blushed at his own stupid thoughts. What the hell was he thinking? God, this was bad.

He should be thankful that Brian was offering some help and advice and instead he got all worked up about this little meeting as if he’d never done that before. This was Ben’s teacher and someone who raised a child all by himself, Roger should really focus on getting his shit together!

Talking himself up as he entered the cozy café, eyes searching through the crowd until they settled on the familiar man. Roger walked over and Brian looked up, the ever-present smile making the blond grin back at him.

“Hey, I hope you haven’t been waiting for too long?” Roger asked as he sat down.

Brian shook his head and handed him the menu, “No, just got here myself.” Once Roger and he had ordered, Brian continued “So, how have you been? We barely talked to each other this week. And while I’m of course delighted that we’re meeting here, I’m a bit surprised as how quick you wanted to meet.” He laughed as Roger’s cheeks flushed, obviously embarrassed about the nature of this little meeting. 

“It’s okay, no reason to feel ashamed of asking for help. I didn’t mean any offence, let’s just say, you didn’t streak me as a guy who was so down to earth to get help when they needed it.” Winking at Roger, Brian took his coffee from the waitress and thanked her as she also placed their cakes on the table.

“Well, I am a proud guy, but I’m not stupid. I don’t want my pride to get in the way of Ben’s happiness. Not after what already happened…” He trailed off at the end, his thoughts going back to the first time he had met Ben, back to the letter the boy had with him. No, Ben really didn’t need more adults fucking up his life.

“That’s great to hear. And I promise, you’re already doing much better than half of the parents I met daily. Most of them just want to force their own issues on their children, forgetting that the kids don’t even understand how the world and it’s problems work.” Brian sounded weary and even a tiny bit angry.

Roger kept quiet, sensing that there was something more hiding the trivial comment.

“It’s just sometimes so infuriating to see all these privileged and conceited parents come in day after day, phone in one hand and the other one dragging the child around, not even sparing the kid a second of attention. Too caught up in their own problems to care about their own blood.” The man sounded a bit more agitated now, hands gripping the hot coffee mug tightly, a resentful look in those usually calming eyes. 

Roger cleared his throat, he sighed and started, “You know, I get that as a kindergarten teacher you care about all this, but sometimes life really is just like that.” He waited for Brian to interrupt but when the other man didn’t, he continued, “You do all you can to make sure the kids are happy when they’re with you, what else can you do?” Maybe it was a bit hypocritical for Roger to make such statements, however the blond didn’t want Brian to blame himself for others misdoings. 

“I know, I know that. Forget what I said, we’re here because you wanted to talk, right?” He looked up and finally seemed to brighten a bit more, the all too familiar soft smile back on his lips. 

“I guess we are.” Roger took a sip from his coffee, taking a moment to find a way to start this conversation. “Ever since Susan, Ben’s mother, left him,” he purposely said it that way, so he wouldn’t have to lie to Brian but also not sound suspicious, ”it all seems to be too much at some points. The whole getting Ben to bed at an appropriate time, making him eat stuff that isn’t just 90 % sugar and fat and then the whole socializing problem.” He let his head fall forwards as he remembered the boy playing with that horrible doll. “I still didn’t set up any playdates and at this point I’m seriously worried about his choices to entertain himself.”

Brian smiled at that, obvious not taking Roger’s fear very seriously himself. “Well, if these kinds of things are your only worries than I can assure you, you’ll be fine. Believe me, every parent has the problem with their kid not sleeping at when the little devils are supposed to be or getting up too early and only wanting to eat sugary things.” 

“Well there’s also the fact that I have to work less now, and with the winter still going strong and the weather being as bad as it is, I need to buy more stuff for Ben but I just don’t have the money right now. And of course, I could take up another job or work more hours at the shop but then I would have to leave Ben at home alone.” Finishing his little rant Roger groaned and used his fork to let out some of his frustrations onto his cake. “It’s just a lot harder than I expected it to be.”

Brian nodded quietly, the two of them remaining in silent for a few moments. There was no point in Brian pretending to know how exactly Roger’s financial status was and how it all would turn out okay and how easy it got as time went by. Instead he looked rather thoughtful when he started again.

“I won’t lie to you, it will be hard, sometimes so hard you will ask yourself why this even had to happen but if you ever find yourself in such a hopeless situation, you can always come to me. I know how hard it can get; how hard it will get.” Roger looked at Brian, who in return kept his eyes on the little flowerpot on their table, the heartbreak obvious on the sharp face.

“I don’t think I ever told you what exactly happened with my wife…you see, the two of us were high school sweethearts. Fell in love and got married, rented a little flat and decided to start a family.” His voice sounded strained and Roger felt his heart ache at the pained look on Brian’s face. “My Anita was the kindest person I’ve ever known. She was so sweet, always up to something, supporting me in all my decisions, helping my mother when I was at work and couldn’t.” He blinked a few times, trying to force the unshed tears away. He spoke of her so softly that Roger barely heard him.

“And then a few months after we found out that she was finally pregnant, it all went to shit.” A pause and Brian wiped his hand over his nose, “she stared to feel worse and worse as the months went by and I knew something bad was going to happen. The doctors were hopeful that once the pregnancy was over, she would recover again, but then…” He trailed off again and Roger couldn’t sit there any longer still and unmoving.

The blond reached out his hand, carefully taking Brian’s trembling one into his own, brushing his fingers over the other hand; a small attempt to comfort and calm the troubled man, who smiled at the innocent gesture, eyes wet and cheeks flushed.

Brian cleared his throat, “I’m sorry, it’s been over 5 years and I’m still getting emotional.” A wet laugh and Roger squeezed the hand, eyes full of concern and sympathy. The blond had a vague idea of what happened to Brian’s wife but he waited for the other man to continue. 

“After Gwilym’s birth it got worse. She lost a lot of blood and was too weak to eat or talk. I was so caught up with my son and the worry over her health I completely lost myself for a few weeks.” A humorless laugh and fingers clenching Roger’s hand in a sudden wave of anger.

Roger swallowed drily at the ashamed tone, the heartbroken look on Brian’s face making his stomach churn. 

“And then the unpreventable happened. Gwil had been with us for just over half a year and then she…” he stopped, his breath coming quick as he recalled those horrible days, tears dripping down his chin, Brian shook his head as if he could shake these memories away if he tried hard enough. 

Roger understood. This was too much. This whole conversation had somehow gotten out of hand. He waited for Brian to calm down again, still keeping the trembling hands in his own, still trying to ground the other man. 

Their coffee had long turned cold but the two men didn’t care. Their cake forgotten, the other customers tuned out, it was just the two of them now. 

“After my love had passed it was hell for a few months, maybe even years. You start to question everything. You start to worry about things you never thought of before. Nothing makes sense and you’re always hurting, searching for someone to blame.” As Brian carried on, his voice barely above a whisper, Roger felt a sudden urge to just hug the taller man, shield him from all the pain and agony mirroring in those usually so soft eyes, comfort him in ways more than holding hands.

“But it gets better. It really does. Gwilym is the only thing I really have left of her and he makes sure I don’t ever forget ever, not that he knows that or that he would need to.” Another wet laugh and Roger was a bit surprised how genuinely happy Brian actually sounded all of a sudden. “It’s crazy how much he reminds me of her when he can’t even remember her.”

Brian and Roger talked for a long time after that. The older one reminiscing about the past, his voice still choked up but full of love and admiration whenever Anita came up, telling Roger about little anecdotes of his life as a single father, exchanging stories about the boys being impossibly annoying. They ended up ordering a few more coffee’s, the atmosphere no longer gingerly or somber but rather easy and natural. 

Roger swallowed the hot burning that seemed to rise in his throat like bile every time Gwilym’s mother came up, feeling ashamed he felt this annoyed at the woman that obviously meant so much to Brian, not knowing where these ridiculous feelings came from.

Brian didn’t seem to notice the inner tumult that was going on in Roger and just assumed the blond was getting restless as he wasn’t use to leaving Ben alone for such a long time. 

“Well, it’s getting quite late, isn’t it?” He drank the last bit of his coffee and smiled at Roger, eyes still slightly red from the heavy conversation earlier.

“Yeah, I guess. Ben is probably driving Dom crazy, maybe I should head home.” The blond looked rather unsure, as if he wasn’t really willing to leave just yet. Brian laughed at the torn expression on the younger man, “You don’t want to scare away your only babysitter.” 

Roger grinned at that, the strange unsure feeling calming a bit, “Nah, you’re right. She has suffered enough.”

The two men paid their bill and left the little café. Outside it was already dark and cold as the sun had already vanished. For a moment they just stood there, their breaths huffing out little clouds of hot air into the night, staring at each other, not knowing what to say now.

The moment passed and Brian scratched his neck, eyes everywhere but Roger. “Well, I hope this was actually of some help”, he stopped, his cheeks reddening, Roger noticed in the dimmed light, “even if we mostly talked about my problems.” The nervous laugh that followed made Roger’s heart flutter and the blond shushed Brian.

“No, it was really good. Thank you! I really needed that.” 

“I’m glad! I enjoyed myself as well! It really felt good talking about it, you know, the whole issue with raising Gwilym alone and yeah just in general…” Brian shuffled from one foot to another, looking like he wanted to say something more. “Well I guess I’ll see you on Monday then.”

Roger nodded, smiling a bit disappointed, even if he didn’t know why. They said their goodbyes and just as Roger turned to head to the station, Brian called after him.

“Wait”

Roger stopped, heart fluttering again, turning back to face Brian who was still standing in the same spot. He looked kind of out of place, his big bouncy hair, the red cheeks and eyes, his almost frumpy clothes, standing there looking at Roger all hopeful and lost at the same time.

He seemed to struggle for a moment and a small smile broke out on his lips.

“Tomorrow my and Gwil are going to the animal shelter close to the Kindergarten. Maybe you and Ben want to join us?”

Roger smiled, happy in more way than he could attempt to understand. “Yeah.” He nodded, “that sounds great! I’m sure Ben will probably love it!”

“Great! I’m sure he will! Let’s meet at 3pm at the Kindergarten.”

“Sounds good. Good night Brian.”

“Good night Roger.”

*

When Roger got home the flat was a bit of a mess and on any other day, he would have been annoyed at that but right now he couldn’t care less.

The whole afternoon had been much needed and he was a bit surprised just how well Brian and he got along, they really had just clicked. Maybe it was the whole single father thing that made it so easy to talk to the curly headed man, but somehow Roger felt like that wasn’t really why he felt like Brian really was someone special. 

Before he could get lost in those confusing thoughts though, Ben raced at him, throwing his tiny but still kind of heavy body at Roger, locking him in a dead tight embrace.

“You’re back!”

“I am. And I see you had quite the night as well, is that chocolate on your shirt? Please tell me that is chocolate!” Roger picked the boy up and inspected the suspicious stains, momentarily complementing to taste them but decided against it in the last moment. 

“It’s ice cream. Don’t worry, I’m not that incompetent. How was your night?” Dom leaned in the doorway of the living room, glancing at the boys. “You seem better? It was a good date then?”

Gasping, Roger’s cheeks flushed. “Excuse me? It wasn’t a date! Why would you say something like that? We just met and talked!” He let Ben down again, not able to hold the eye contact with Dom anymore, instead fleeing to the kitchen.

“I’m just joking. No need to get so defensive. That reaction was a bit suspicious though.” She came after him, Ben trailing along as well. “You sure you don’t want to tell me more?”

“Now Ben tell me, how pretty is your teacher to make you daddy so flustered? She must be a real eye catcher!” She winked at the boy, Ben however didn’t seem to understand the question, tilting his head and looking at the two adults with big eyes.

His face scrunched up in thought, Ben took a moment before answering with a big grin.

“His hair is really funny!” 

Dom shrieked and Roger cursed, which earned him not only one but two glares.

“Roger Meddows Taylor! When were you planning to tell me, you’ve been out there thirsting after men?” Despite the accusing nature of the sentence, Dominique seemed rather exhilarated by the revelation. 

“Dom! Shut it! And what are you even talking about? I’m not ‘thirsting’ after men!” Roger couldn’t believe his friend, and he damned the boy for being so truthful, children and their big mouths!

The woman didn’t even acknowledge his objection, glossing over them as she turned towards the child.

“Ben you gotta tell me everything about that teacher of you! Roger seemed to be a bit forgetful lately.” She glanced at the man who just rolled his eyes and left the two of them, there was nothing he really could do, Dom had been bound to find out sooner or later.

So, he focused on getting the flat back to its original state or well, at least a more presentable one.

The rest of the night passed rather quickly, Dom leaving soon enough, Ben crawling into Roger’s bed falling asleep instantly and Roger following just a few moments later.

Knocked out on his bed, Ben sleeping next to him abusing his arm as pillow, Roger dreamed of bitter smelling coffee, warm hands and soft laughs.

It was the first night since Ben arrived without any interruption.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think of Brian and Roger finally having some alone time?  
> Did you enjoy the chapter even if it was rather dull?  
> All the stories on here are just so full of drama hahah this is the complete opposite...
> 
> Anyways, you know I live for comments and of course you can hmu on my [tumblr](http://mrdisrespecthood.tumblr.com) :)
> 
> Until next time xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time is an illusion.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

They actually managed to meet up at the animal shelter and Ben was thrilled. The blond boy couldn’t stop bouncing around, tugging on Roger’s hand as he tried to escape and finally see all the animals he had been promised.

Roger just smiled at the silly behavior and waved at Brian who was standing at the entrance, smiling back at them. Next to him a boy who seemed to be a bit taller than Ben. That must be Gwilym, Brian’s son, Roger thought already quite curious about the boy.

The child had dark brown hair and seemed to take rather after Brain, though Roger had no idea how Anita looked so he couldn’t really judge after that aspect. Still the boy’s face brightened the same way Brian’s face did when he saw them coming towards them and Roger had to laugh at the resemblance. 

Once they finally were close enough to talk, Brian stepped forward and introduced them to Gwil. The boy had quite the manners, even shaking Roger’s hand and again, Roger was reminded just what a great father Brian must be.

Ben’s attention also shifted from the promised animals to the newly introduced boy in front of them. 

For a moment the boys just stared at each other, confusion and curiosity on Gwil’s face while Ben just squinted his eyes and watched Gwil, his lips pressed into a tight line and Roger was sure if you were quiet enough, you could actually hear the wheels cracking inside of Ben’s head.

Gwil just ignored the strange behavior, instead, asking Ben if he wanted to come and see the bunnies or the cats first. Ben, now reminded of the original purpose of this trip, immediately straightened and nodded enthusiastically. Gwilym just laughed, grabbed the blonds hand and the two boys were off to explore the shelter and it’s habitants. 

That just left Brian and Roger standing there, the blond looking rather dumbfounded that Ben had just ditched him for someone he hadn’t even know for more than a few minutes while Brian was quite amused about the whole spiel. 

With a shy chuckle Brian tugged Roger towards the entrance, “Come on, let’s see if we have to save some furballs from getting hugged to death.”

*

The trip to the shelter had been a few weeks ago and ever since that, the four of them often meet up to spend more and more time together.

Gwilym seemed to be really fond of Ben. Always looking out for the little blond, making sure he got the biggest share of food, had the fluffiest blanket on movie nights and of course, got to choose the game on game nights. It was endearing to see the two of them snuggled up, limps all over each other, giggling or yelling with each other.

Ben also seemed to be rather keen of the older boy. Always bringing him his newest drawing, his eyes sparkling at whatever praise he’d receive; trying to keep up with Gwilym when they went out on hiking trips, his little legs running around the brunet, while Gwil would simply stop and search for flowers to put into the blond locks; even getting as excited about things Gwilym was thrilled about something despite the blond having no actual understanding about the matter.

Roger was still amazed just how easy and quickly the two had hit it off and he couldn’t help but be a bit suspicious. Ben was still so quiet and shy, so unbelievable cautions whenever strangers come too close to him. Even in Kindergarten he was always just with Joe, the brunet acting as his little knight, keeping him away from trouble and whatnot. 

Maybe brunets were just naturally fond of blond little boys. And that sounded just as wrong as it could; Roger shook his head. What was he even thinking? He huffed, tugging the blanket around his legs, shifting a bit so he was more comfortable.

He looked over the two boys, sitting on the floor, crumps and candy-wrappers laying around them. Both engrossed in the movie but still whispering to each other every now and then.

A low chuckle, the vibrations rumbling through the chest he was currently abusing as his pillow, brought Roger back into Brian’s living room. The living room where the four of them were watching Tangled; the living room where Roger was sat on a very comfy couch and were Brian was sitting directly next to him, scratch that, were Roger was practically on top of Brian.

A soft blush crept up his cheeks and Roger almost flung himself off the tall man, torn between faking being all sleepy and simply admitting to the truth.

“Careful, don’t hurt yourself over there.” The smugness in Brian’s voice would have annoyed him if he wasn’t so embarrassed right now.

“Shut it, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Luckily the boys were still too occupied to ramble about their dreams to notice the two adults behind them.

“Rog, it’s fine. You’re always freezing so come back, I really don’t mind.” Brian’s voice was so soft and warm; Roger really didn’t have much of a choice, did he?

It wouldn’t have been plain rude to decline the offer. So with still pink cheeks, rumbled clothes and somewhat tense shoulders, the blond readjusted himself back against the warmth of the taller one, who in return tugged their blankets over them, one arm coming around his shoulder, keeping Roger close.

“So, why did you just huff and glare at our boys? Jealous because they get to dream about dream jobs while we’re stuck in ours?” Brian sounded surprisingly curious, Roger just shrugged.

He felt stupid for being so irrational about their friendship. He knew it was great that Ben had found friends like Joe and Gwilym. Still, Roger felt something nagging at him.

Ben was his son after all, wasn’t it a given that he’d be protective and worried about who his son hung out with? His mood soured. What was he even talking about? He still hadn’t had the guts to get the testing done. Roger had a kid with him, without actually knowing if he was the father. How fucked up was that?

And here perfect little (tall) Brian was sitting next to him, acting all sweet and nice, when Roger could easily get arrested for child abduction. They could throw him in jail and Ben would be placed into foster care, the boy who just managed to open up, to find friends and smile and laugh; they could put him into foster care, cutting all ties with Joe and Rami and Gwil. 

All because Roger was a pathetic coward who was too afraid of the truth.

Brian squeezed his shoulder, nudging him to get him to look up. Brown eyes stared down at him, worry and confusion meeting the cold blue. Roger sighed and shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it right now. 

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Brian didn’t seem to let it go at first, his hand still kind of digging into Roger but soon the tension melted away, accepting the blonds request, the tall one refocused on the kids movie.

“Just know, that I’m always here to listen.”

Roger nodded a small smile on his lips. Yeah, he knew that.

*

It was dark when Roger came to again. Dark and warm, though the heat from earlier was no longer pressed against him. Instead his shoulder felt weird, the weight missing, his body more or less hanging in the air. He groaned as he rolled his shoulders and sat up properly.

Damn he was getting too old for sleeping on sofas, especially sitting up. Why hadn’t he gone off to bed?

Slowly his eyes adjusted to the darkness around him and Roger realized, he was still in Brian’s living room. 

His joints still protesting as he finally made it to his feet, the blond stretched, yawning rather loudly. 

“Oh, did we wake you?” 

Roger flinched at the sound, only to feel stupid two seconds later; who did he expect? Brian was standing in the doorway, looking very amused as he took in Roger’s crumpled sight. The blond straightened his back and nodded, another yawn forcing its way out as he stumbled towards the house owner. 

“Nah, it’s fine. What time is it anyways?” Stopping in front of Brian, Roger popped his shoulders and rubbed a hand over his face. “We probably should get going…”

Another breathy chuckle - Roger was suddenly very happy about the lack of light, a light blush warming his cheeks at the adorable sound - Brian shook his head, curls bouncing lightly.

“Roger, it’s 3.47 am. You guys are not going anywhere.” The two adults walked over where Roger guessed the kitchen must be, a dim shimmer of light slipping through under the closed door.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I’m sorry, that’s…wow, I must have been really knackered.” Rubbing his neck, he sheepishly looked anywhere but Brian. He felt rather embarrassed about the whole situation. Falling asleep in Brian’s lap, how charming;

“Oh, don’t worry. You had quite the busy weeks and I think I even fell asleep for a bit. When I woke again, the boys were no longer in front of the TV, no instead they went for a little snack.” Brian pushed the door open, and yes that was the kitchen, Roger quickly yielded his eyes from the harsh light. “I found them on the counter; apparently they were both in the mood for cereal.” The soft laugh that followed made Roger knees weak and the blond really needed to get more sleep and work on his issues. What was up with him tonight?

Roger grinned, he could definitely picture their boys trying to make the best of the moment and ‘outsmart’ the two adults; “So, you being the perfect dad, gave into their demand before sending them off to bed, I assume?” He asked cheekily, eyeing the drying bowl on the rack next to the sink.

Brian smiled at him, taking the dishes and putting them away, “Well, I guess I’m just too easy to read, aren’t I?” After drying his hands on a dishtowel, he turned again.

“They luckily already sleeping now, I made the guest room ready for you.” He gestured to the room on the other side of the hallway, “no need for you to sleep on the couch the whole night.” 

Roger knew he should feel bad for causing Brian all this trouble, but his body was stiff and tired, his mind fuzzy with sleep and so confused with emotions, that in the end he just nodded thankfully, following the tall man into the prepared room. 

“Ben fell asleep with Gwil and I didn’t have the heart to separate the two of them. I even took a picture.” A phone was shoved into Rogers hand, he had learned rather soon that Brian liked to capture practically every moment with his camera. Roger though, didn’t want to look at cute picture of Ben cuddling with Gwil, he didn’t want to see them all cute and adorable and damn they really were endearing. Who was he kidding? Seeing Ben cuddled up to the older boy made his heart ache, feeling happiness and pride swell in his chest.

It still left a sour taste in his mouth and he scolded himself for being jealous of a child. This night really needed to be over soon. Roger shoved any thoughts regarding the two kids away and handed Brian his phone back.

“Okay, well thanks for everything. I can make breakfast later, so you can sleep in at least.” He stretched again and sat down on the fluffy bed, bouncing a bit. “Good night.”

Brian nodded at the offer and waved his hand, “Good night, Roger. Sleep well!” With that he closed the door again and Roger was yet again, surrounded by darkness.

“You too.”

Somehow it didn’t only seem to be around him but inside him as well.

*

Roger groaned as something woke him up. He was still half asleep, his eyes unwilling to open yet. It couldn’t have been more than an hour since he had fallen into the soft cushions. How was he awake again?

He felt slightly better, his back no longer stiff and tense, his head resting on the fluffy pillows smelling like lavender, his mind still to fuzzy; he turned around, his legs catching in the sheets as he tried to get comfortable again.

The moonlight barely got though the curtains, the room still and dark but something was off.

Roger froze.

A lump that hadn’t been there before was suddenly laying next to him. He could feel the heat radiating from the small nest of blankets and pillows; see the heap rise and fall steadily when he focused hard enough.

Roger blinked. The heap moved. Roger huffed and lifted his blanket, an easy smile on his lips. 

“Get over here you little intruder.” 

The heap moved again, a blond head peeking out under the waves of fabric, wide eyes staring at him before the boy finally dared to come closer. Quickly, like a weasel, Ben scooted beneath the sheets into the warmth. A tiny giggle escaping him as he snuggled up to Roger and pressed against the larger body; Roger just sighed and pulled the boy even closer.

In the end, Roger thought with a smile, Gwilym ain't got nothing on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well who would've guessed I'd ever write again?  
> Not me, that's for sure. But seeing all my friends being so active and trying so hard, I felt bad and gave it another shot.
> 
> Not gonna promise anything, bc school, work and life is just too busy but who knows....
> 
> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> xx


End file.
